“Yeah!Noa wants us!”Kylie’s lip trembles, and her eyes fill with tears as we pull into Carmine’s opulent driveway with the fountain as the centerpiece, double front doors, and a triple-or-more-car garage.
“Only cause she’s our sister, stupid.”The emotion in Joey’s tone worries me.
“No name-calling, please.”It’s not often they have emotional outbursts like this, so I don’t scold him too harshly, but he needs to remember that being rude is not okay.
“Sorry,” he grumbles as he unbuckles his seat belt and exits the car, running to the fountain and sitting on the edge while looking into the water.
Puffing out a breath, I haul my exhausted body from the seat, giving Joey a warning to be careful, while helping his sisters get unbuckled.Thankfully, that other child at Emma’s daycare is no longer there, so she was able to nap this afternoon and is wide awake.
Hearing the front door open, I know Carmine is there, watching us, as I hold Emma in one arm while helping Kylie out with the other.“Joey!”I call.His head turns, the glare still in place, refusing to budge.
“He’s huge!”Kylie’s gaze is glued to the man I can’t look at yet, not while Joey refuses to move.“And scawy.”Kylie’s speech deteriorates when she’s scared or overly worried, and unfortunately, today has been stressful all around.
“Don’t worry, Kylie, he’s very nice.”Of that I have no doubt.Carmine is fierce and often feral, but he’s one of the most loyal men I’ve ever met in my life.She nods but remains close to me as we walk towards Joey.“Stay away from the water, Ky.”
Emma wants down, so I sit with her in the grass, quickly wondering how I’ll get up, thanks to my ever-growing belly, making maneuvering difficult.Kylie runs around the fountain, skipping and singing, pretending she’s the Little Mermaid.Joey won’t look at me, and I know it’s because he’s having big feelings about what was discussed in the car.Guilt eats at me because I never gave a thought to what would happen if Carmine wanted to be part of the baby’s life.
“You know how much I love you, don’t you?”I’ll crumble if he doesn’t.
“Yeah,” he murmurs, sliding down to the grass in front of me.Only acknowledging Emma as she crawls into his lap.
“Good.Because I want you to understand, whether Carmine is part of the baby’s life or not, I will always be there for you, too.”I hesitate to reach out to him, hating how much he hurts.
“Why did he have to hate me?”The quiet question springs tears to the surface as I scoot closer.“You knew him when he was nice.Why couldn’t he be nice to us, too?”
Lord, the can of worms I’ve managed to open.“I wish I had the answers you deserve, Jo, I really do.And I hate that he’s not kind to all three of you because, boy, is he missing out on knowing some seriously fantastic kids.”Joey shrugs, then tenses at the sound of Carmine coming closer.
“Everything okay over here, Noa?”He crouches next to me, keeping himself out of the children’s space and trying to appear non-threatening.
“Carmine, this is Joey, Emma, and hiding over there is Kylie.”
“Pleasure to meet you all.”He extends a hand to Joey, who looks to me first before shaking it quickly, then pulling back.
Emma seems not to have any qualms about greeting Carmine as she pops up from Joey’s lap and bursts out a loudhi,offering a hand as well.
Carmine flashes a charming smile as he takes her hand gently.“Well, aren’t you quite the little princess, and I bet you like coloring.”Emma steps closer, while nodding enthusiastically, and Kylie even moves nearby, showing interest.“I have some crafts and coloring books set up inside if you’d like to come see?”Both girls hesitate before looking at me.I give them an encouraging smile, and they each take one of Carmine’s hands, following along with him.
“Noa, wait there for me, and I’ll be right back.”I roll my eyes at his instructions; it’s not like I can get up without embarrassing myself anyway.
“He seems nice,” Joey comments, watching them enter the house.
“He’s gruff at times, but he’s a good man.”
“Do you think he’ll be your husband?”
It’s hard to hold back my feelings on that, but I manage, just barely.
Giving my answer some thought, I finally say, “Carmine had one great love in his life, and it’s not me, so no, I don’t think so.”
“But you want it to.”
God, I must not be so good at hiding my feelings if he can read me so easily.
Carmine returns quickly, offering me his assistance.“Becky is with the girls, coloring unicorns and sea creatures.Can I give you a hand, Noa?”
Once I’m on my feet, Joey gets up, too, but doesn’t say anything and remains at my side as we enter the house.Flashbacks of the last time I was here bombard my mind, and my body reacts.Luckily, I’m called over by Emma, so Carmine doesn’t get a chance to notice.
“Oh, Noa, it’s so nice to see you again,” Becky greets with a quick hug.“It’s been way too long and too many grumpy days with this guy to be bearable.”
