I broke off the kiss abruptly, heart hammering as I remembered Cillian’s admission about Niamh’s feelings. “It’s not you.” I tried to get control of my breathing as she touched her lips, dazed and looking so happy it rent my heart in half. “What I said earlier, I didn’t mean it. I was pushing you away.”
She gave me a shy smile. “It’s okay.” She moved toward me again, and I held up my hands, confusion flitting in her green eyes.
“It’s not okay. I never should’ve said those words. I should’ve told you the truth.”
“What is the truth, Wolfe?” She cupped my cheek, and I turned into her touch, unable to help myself.
“I think I’m falling in love with you.”
“Well, that’s convenient.” Her smiled widened. “Because I think I’m?—”
I stepped back again, cutting her off once more. “Don’t. Don’t say it.”
She froze. “Why?”
“Because I’m not the man you need, Niamh.”
Maybe she’d opened me up a little, but eventually, my darkness would spread. It would blot out her light. I’d be distant or grumpy or mean, and I’d hurt her, just like I had my family. And Cillian would always have to be my priority. Niamh deserved someone who could love her fully, give her all their attention and adoration. That person could never be me.
Understanding filled her eyes, but she didn’t speak.
“Niamh, you’re amazing. You’re kind and you’re curious andyou’re so brave, even if you don’t realize it. You’re all the best parts of this world; everything good about it is inside of you.”
Her eyes watered.
“I’m not any of those things.” I pressed my hands to my chest. “You can’t fix me. Nothing can, and I can’t let this go any further because it’ll only lead to you getting hurt.”
I couldn’t imagine why she loved me, what she saw in me, but whatever it was, she was wrong.
She stared at me, her fingers touching the lips that I’d just gotten to kiss, slightly swollen. Her hair was mussed like mine must’ve been. She’d never looked more beautiful, and she’d never looked more sad. “I understand,” she said finally.
“I can’t train you anymore.”
Her bottom lip quivered. “Okay.”
I surged forward, unable to resist touching her one more time. I hooked my finger under her chin and tipped her head up. “You don’t need me to train you. You never did. You’re already the bravest person I know, Niamh.”
I leaned forward, lips hovering right over hers. She sucked in a sharp breath, and I knew that if I kissed her again, I’d never stop.
I stepped back, the loss of her warmth hitting me, and walked out the door, refusing to look back. “Goodbye.”
CHAPTER 31
Wolfe
Ilay in my bed the next morning, blinking my eyes open to see a huge pair of black orbs staring at me. I let out a strangled sound and jumped from my bed, a scream piercing my ears.
My head snapped in the direction of the scream just in time to see Morton’s pink body sailing through the air. My instincts kicked in, and I leapt to snatch him before he fell and got hurt.
“What in the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I yelled as he squirmed in my hand.
“Well, good morning to you too,” Morton said with a huff.
“Why are you in my cabin?” I asked.
“Because you hurt my friend.”
Morton glared at me, and I winced. Did everyone in the damn castle know about me and Niamh? I set him down on my bed. “I’m doing her a favor. She’s better off without me.”
