He fell on top of me and punched me in the nose. “How could you do that?” he cried. “How could you?”
“Do what?” Nevan ran to Cillian, trying to pull him off me.
“You had something good, and you just had to ruin it.”
He punched me again, and I laughed, blood now gushing out of my nose. “Hit me again.” I slapped my palms against my chest. “It’s what I deserve.”
Cillian stopped as Nevan tugged his arm. He looked at me with disgust. “No.” He got off me and straightened his shirt, now spattered by my blood. “You don’t get to enjoy this. Dammit, Wolfe.”
“Can someone explain what is going on?” Nevan helped me to my feet and stood between me and Cillian, who was still glaring.
“I have feelings for his bride,” I said, “and he’s giving me exactly what I deserve.”
Nevan’s eyes widened, and he turned to Cillian. “Is that true?”
Cillian jabbed a finger. “I knew it. I fucking knew it! And no, that’s not true.” His face screwed up in confusion. “That’s why you think I punched you?”
“I deserved worse. You should’ve thrown me in the dungeon, banned me from Fairwitch Isle, finally given me what I deserve for all the ways I’ve wronged you.”
It was my fault Nevan and Cillian had lost their brother. I was so sick of everyone tiptoeing around it, not talking about it. Mostly, I was sick of hating myself. I just wanted them to hate me, too, like if they did, I’d finally get some relief from the unrelenting pain.
Understanding passed over Cillian’s face, all the anger meltingaway. “You have to forgive yourself, Wolfe. The rest of us have. When are you going to catch up?”
I swallowed thickly. “If that’s not why you punched me, then what is going on?” I asked through gritted teeth.
“That’s what I’d like to know.” Nevan crossed his arms.
“You made her cry!” Cillian said.
“What?” Blood dripped onto my vest, and I used the back of my sleeve to wipe it from my chin.
“You were cruel to her. How could you be cruel to her like that? You should’ve seen her, sobbing by herself in the back of the library, and all over a man who doesn’t deserve her.”
My heart fucking cracked right down the middle. “Finally we’re on the same page.”
“I’m still not on the same page,” Nevan said, looking between us and pushing his spectacles up his nose.
Cillian sighed heavily. “I don’t want to marry Niamh. She’s not right for me, for this kingdom. I think the castle brought her here for other reasons.” He widened his eyes meaningfully in my direction.
“I was actually thinking the same thing.” Nevan’s face broke out into a smile as he looked at me. “You’ve been different since Niamh got here. She’s opening you up in ways I haven’t seen since Lor disappeared.”
“Stop. Just stop.” I rubbed my temples, that pounding in my ears rushing forward. They couldn’t seriously think I was equipped to be in a relationship with anybody. I couldn’t even handle my relationships with them. I was too broken, and this was not happening.
Cillian sighed. “She’s in love with you, you idiot.”
The words slammed against me, and I stumbled back. “That can’t be true. I’m not...” Lovable. I wasn’t someone any woman, especially not one as amazing as Niamh, would fall for.
“Why can’t it be true?” Cillian asked. “What in the fuck is wrong with you? You have a chance to find love with a brilliant, amazing woman who, for whatever reason, actually has feelings for you.”
“That’s the point,” I burst out. “I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserveanyone. I don’t deserve to be happy! I will spend the rest of my life paying for what I did to Lor.”
“You didn’t do anything to him, Wolfe,” Nevan said. “He got killed because of his own foolishness. It was tragic and we miss him every day, but you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You didn’t,” Cillian said. “No one blames you.”
“That’s not true,” I said, voice quiet. “Mother couldn’t even look at me after it happened. Jerome either. Every time I tried to visit, it was like I’d died too.”
Nevan’s eyes filled with tears, and Cillian’s face crumpled. “They were grieving, and maybe they didn’t handle it in the best way, but you might as well have died. They’re mourning the loss of two sons because of how you’ve pushed us all away. They miss you, Wolfe. So much. And we’ve all tried to give you space, we’ve all tried to let you handle it in your own way, but you just keep punishing yourself.”
