We barely spoke while she dressed me, and, by the time she was finished, I had to begrudgingly admit that she had done a fine job. More than fine.
I wore an ochre, silk gown with long, flowing sleeves and a fitted, raised waistline that accentuated my curves. Anchored around my neck was a heavy, gold necklace encrusted with beads of amber, giving it the appearance of a gilded honeycomb. My hair cascaded down in loose waves, with the braided sides meeting at the back of my head like a crown. Today’s earthy tones brought out the green in my eyes.
“You look lovely, Miss,” she said while I examined myself in the mirror. I thought of Runa and immediately felt a stab inmy chest—how could something be so familiar and so foreign all at once?
Despite my heavy heart, my stomach fluttered as I followed Britta down to the great hall, already bustling with people and filled with lively chatter. Amongst the crowd, I caught sight of Magnus standing with several other young lords. He caught my eye and gave me a cocky wink that I pointedly ignored.
I glanced toward the dais and saw the king conversing with Lord Helvig, positioned to his right. Standing slightly behind the throne was the figure I was looking for—Tarben. The butterflies in my stomach surged to my heart. Divine goddess, he looked dashing in an azure doublet embroidered with silver. I tried to catch his eye, but he was completely focused on something I couldn’t see.
Pushing aside the sinking disappointment, I watched as the king rose to his feet. The entire room fell into silence.
“Today, we welcome my son, Prince Tarben, back from the border,” he boomed. “Not only does he return victorious, but he brings with him exciting news for which I have gathered you all here today to share.”
No one uttered a word as we waited for the king to go on.
“It is my pleasure to announce that Prince Tarben is betrothed.”
My mouth dropped open.Betrothed?Was this his way of proposing to me?Surely not.
The entire hall released a collective gasp. My wide eyes found Tarben, who was beaming as his father continued. “Please join me in celebrating the engagement of Prince Tarben and Lady Oriane Valtteri.”
Chapter 40
I felt like I had been slapped.
The king’s words locked my muscles, spiked my heart rate, and caused a pounding in my ears as blood rushed to my head. Even drawing breath became a challenge; my chest felt as though it was caving in on itself.
It was as if my brain had malfunctioned, and I was experiencing some kind of nightmare hallucination. In this nightmare, a glowing Tarben descended the stairs towards the unmistakable figure of Oriane. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her passionately in a display that was met with delighted whoops and cheers from the crowd.
Watching them embrace was akin to being hacked through the heart with a blunt dagger.
I didn’t know what in the bleeding seas was happening, but I couldn’t bear witness to it any longer. I spun on my heels and fled out the great hall, desperate to outrun the horrible feeling that had settled in my stomach.
The hands of despair clenched my heart and squeezed the air from my lungs as I weaved through the elated crowd. As I bolted towards the door, I barely registered the bodies I bumped into, a singular thought driving me forward.Get out.
I’d made it to the door when a firm hand gripped my shoulder. Whirling around, I came face-to-face with Livia. Her lipswere pursed and her brow was furrowed. “Are you alright?” she asked in a low voice.
Silently, I shook my head, afraid of what would spill out of me if I spoke. The pitying look she gave me was all it took for my eyes to burn. I was going to humiliate myself in front of all these people.
“Oh Alara,” she breathed, missing nothing. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”
She took my hand and led me from the great hall, where jubilant music had begun to play. A celebration was underway.
Neither of us spoke as we walked. I was too adrift in the spiral of my thoughts to attempt to make conversation, even if I wanted to.
Tarben and Oriane were betrothed and my life was ruined. There was no way he was going to confess his love for me now. Not when he had asked another woman to be his wife.
Had I imagined everything that happened between us last night? All he’d said?“I want to be with you always. I’ve never been more sure about anything before.”
Those were his words. Were they lies? Was he toying with me for his own cruel amusement? Had this all been a game to him? I couldn’t think of any other reason he would act like I was special to him then propose to someone else.
Was it possible he didn’t truly care for Oriane? The lovesick way he looked at her—like she was both cause and cure—left me feeling unwell. The beast that lived in the depths of my body clawed at the ground and howled. It demanded answers—how could Tarben prefer Oriane to me?
I felt even more stupid for allowing myself to care about him. Now my stupidity would cost meeverything.
“Sit down. I’ll send for some tea, or something stronger if you’d prefer?”
Nodding, I took a seat. I reached for the tiny, violet, stonecharm on my bracelet and absentmindedly rolled it between my fingers. Had he left my bed to ask for her hand in marriage? Or had their betrothal already been sealed while he lay beside me, pretending I was the one he wanted to share his life with?
