Unable to contain his feelings any longer, or stand aside and see the woman he loved hurt by others' opinion of her. He was however equally, and innocently it had to be said, blinded to the fact that Sophia might well be hurt even more by the withdrawal of his feelings towards her which she could easily have felt were increasing.
Although Lady Cynthia was alarmed at first by Ned's erratic behaviour, and that he seemed to have changed his mind again about Sophia, she decided not to be hasty and jump to conclusions. Not being able to pass comment on the morality of the situation, as this was far beyond her by this time, she did know her son exceedingly well. So wouldn't however be in the least surprised if this was a bold move on his part. Intended to cast the responsibility and blame on himself for any impropriety at the literary evening his mother had arranged. Apparently lending his authority, and support to it, in reading one of the notorious poems by Lord Byron, since this would be true to Ned's nature, and character.
In that particular moment, believing that she was right to assume this, Lady Cynthia felt extremely proud of her son and knew that his father would have been too. Edward Carlisle was in her eyes doing what he thought to be right, as a gentleman, protecting his family and the woman he really loved. However it might appear to others, he was a kind and considerate man in so far as social convention allowed him to be. Whilst Lucy and her mother, Amelia, were undoubtedly playing games with his affections. No doubt attracted by the vast Carlisle fortune. Lady Cynthia was also certain that Miss Exley would find another suitor before long. Someone who would be a much better match for her than Ned, who hadn't made a proposal of marriage to her. Nor did Cynthia Carlisle believe that he would.
She had to be right. It was love which mattered the most, and Cupid had fired his arrows. That was easy enough to see. Sophia and Ned were the perfect match. Although her heart went out to Sophia whom she thought must be dismayed by what was happening now. Wishing that she could tell her that this was still far from over. ...Especially if Cynthia Carlisle had anything to do with it!
Chapter 24
The following morning Sophia reluctantly opened her eyes, as thoughts of the poetry recital came flooding back to her, and she turned over quickly trying to rid herself of them. Especially the worst parts of the evening when some of the ladies had obviously shunned her, but maybe they were right. She was a servant now. Nothing more. Irrespective of Lady Cynthia's kindness she had no right to tell them what a mere ladies' companion thought about love, and romance. It had to stop, she said to herself sternly, whilst she hid her face under the pillow in shame.
However it wasn't long before the touch of Ned's hand, and the way he had tried to save her from the vile comments and looks came back to her. Nevertheless it had been closely followed by his betrayal in what could only be deemed as a courtship of Lady Lucy. It was the final straw! Sophia felt exhausted, and utterly miserable. Also on the verge of a headache, after barely sleeping a wink again last night.
Until she realised, as she lay safely under the covers of her soft bed, that she had actually done something new which she never once thought she would. Reading her poetry aloud to an audience had been a different sort of adventure. Despite the poor response it had received from some quarters. Maybe she ought instead to think of her situation as an achievement. After all she did have a mind of her own, and it was hers to use whatever her current position in society. Although it seemed like a lifetime ago she had also once upon a time been a debutante, who was presented to Queen Charlotte.
From the little she knew about it, the other bluestockings were sometimes treated with disapproval, because of the belief that it wasn't ladylike behaviour to read and write books. A thought that made her feel a lot better. Except for Ned's behaviour things weren't actually as bad as she had thought, but her heart sank again when an image of his face close to Lady Lucy's came to mind. After what he had done, she wasn't sure if she could facehim today or indeed wished to. He had betrayed, and hurt her feelings for him. It really was too much to bear.
However the longer she lay in bed Sophia eventually came to the conclusion that she didn't have any choice in the matter, but to carry on. She was at Carlfield under false pretences after fleeing London to avoid a loveless marriage which no one else here knew about. She had to remember that, and keep herself safe by not upsetting her employer. When Lady Cynthia was so keen that she should share her poetry with others, regardless of how standing up in front of an audience might make her feel. No! The only option she had was to do her best to appear as if none of this mattered to her. Ignoring her true feelings for Ned. Irrespective of how difficult it was going to be to keep them hidden, if she was obliged to look at him as a matter of courtesy.
Sophia threw back the covers, and got out of bed. Concentrating on getting dressed quickly she was soon downstairs in the hall, and on her way to the back of the house. Intending to go to the rose garden where she would at least feel closer to her own mama. When she heard one of the housemaids running after her, calling her name. Although it was unusual, Lady Cynthia had also awoken early. She was apparently in a state of excitement, according to the maid, and wished to speak to Sophia as soon as possible. By now the servants were well aware of her habit of walking in the garden before breakfast, and the maid was pleased to have caught her before she left the house. Being reluctant to walk any distance, since she had other duties to attend to.
Sophia made her way quickly to the drawing room where the Duchess had decided to have her morning tea. Enjoying the view from the window across the lawn, and down to the lake. Cynthia smiled at her, as soon as she walked through the door. "I can't get over my excitement at how wonderful your reading was last night," she said, flapping her hand at the teapot and an extra cup on the side table. Intending that Sophia should pour herself some tea, and sit with her.
"I have the most wonderful news for you!" She said, brightly. "One of my closest friends was also very impressed by your verse.Despite its brevity, Lady Moreton was sufficiently intrigued by the words to want to hear more, and sent an urgent message to me this morning. Saying that she had written it as soon as she opened her eyes. Being in the same state of excitement as myself, she couldn't wait to tell me what she had decided must be done."
Lady Cynthia paused to catch her breath, before she announced that her dear friend wished to publish a small volume of Sophia's best work, which she would like sent to her without delay. Giving her the opportunity to decide which lines ought to be included, and of course, to check that they were of a comparable standard to the ones she had heard. Which naturally they would be the Duchess had enthused, clapping her hands in delight.
Sophia couldn't help staring at her with wide eyes. Unable to believe at first that she was the recipient of such good fortune. "Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Lady Cynthia. I never expected anything like this would happen. It's wonderful, but I am worried that my words won't be sufficiently well written for publication," she couldn't help adding, as she sat down with her tea. The Duchess ignored her concerns with a wave of her hand, and carried on sipping from her own cup.
"I never once imagined that my poems would be in a book, going to be read by other people," she said, shaking her head in amazement. Also that someone else whom she didn't know seemed to have faith in her abilities as a poet.
What she didn't realise was that the Duchess had actually spoken to Lady Moreton last night, when Sophia was otherwise engaged, and asked if she would be able to persuade her husband to help. Both of them being of the same mind that it was vital to manage the gentlemen in their lives whenever they needed to. Furthermore, the behaviour of some of the ladies of the ton was on occasions most unacceptable, if not appalling. As it had been at Cynthia's literary evening.
Lady Moreton was intrigued by her old friend's request, and readily agreed. She had genuinely enjoyed listening to Sophia's verse which she thought she had read admirably, and would haveliked to hear more of it. The matter had been progressed by her during the carriage ride home with Lord Moreton, and later, when they retired to their bedchamber. Until Lady Moreton had secured a promise from him that he would indeed be prepared to make his printing press available for a small volume of work by Miss Sophia Barlow. Although he did have to add a caveat regarding the other poems submitted by her being of a similar quality and which, in his wife's words, would of course be the case.
"I understand completely that this is a lot for you to take in, Sophia, and you will of course have plenty of time to think about it," the Duchess said, putting her cup on the table and standing up. "We can talk more later, and if you have any ideas by then of the other poems you would like to include in your book. However I must leave you now, my dear, to enjoy your tea. I have a meeting with the housekeeper to discuss the final preparations for the soiree this evening."
Sophia thanked the Duchess again for her kindness. Deciding to drink the hot tea as quickly as she could, before making her way to the garden as she had originally intended. It would be possible for her to think about everything on the way there, and allow the shock of what had happened to settle. She was about to leave the room when Jenkins stepped inside, holding a highly polished silver tray. She couldn’t help smiling when she saw the sealed letter on it which was addressed to her, and that it really was from Hannah as she hoped it might be. She recognised her handwriting immediately.
Despite a pressing need to learn what had been happening in London, Sophia decided to postpone the pleasure of reading it until she was seated comfortably on her favourite bench in the rose garden. Anxious too that if she remained in the drawing room Lady Cynthia, or even Ned, might disturb her. Either of them could easily ask about her correspondent, or for further details of Hannah 's background, which she had so far been able to avoid revealing. Nevertheless, Sophia was in for another surprise. The contents of the letter weren't as she had expected. She felt her stomach twisting into knots when she tore it open as soon as shehad sat down on the bench, and began eagerly to read the few lines inside.
Hannah told her in the first line that Lucas was furious about her disappearance. Even worse than that, Owen had also said he intended to stop at nothing until he had tracked her down. Hannah was relieved, and delighted to learn from her letter that Sophia had arrived safely in Yorkshire and all was well. In the circumstances however Owen believed that the best and safest option would be for them not to correspond with each other, at least for the time being, and Hannah wished to abide by his opinion.
Sophia had to summon all of her willpower not to burst into tears when she had finished reading the letter for the second time. Making certain she hadn't missed anything important in her haste to read it immediately. She couldn't help feeling abandoned by her brother, and best friend. It took her a few minutes to appreciate that they had only said it wouldn't be advisable for them to write to each other, to keep her safe. It would be easy enough for someone like Lucas to intercept their letters, and discover her whereabouts from them.
The added realisation then, that everything she had grown to love in the last few weeks might soon be taken from her, was unbearable. Sophia truly believed in that particular moment that she might never see Ned again, or Lady Cynthia. After possibly being forcibly removed from Carlfield house by her older brother. Her whole world felt as if it was falling down around her.
Chapter 25
Meanwhile Edward and the Earl of Duxbury had gone horseback riding on the Carlfield estate. When they reached the river the Duke dismounted, and invited Howard to join him. So that the horses could rest for a few minutes, and they could take in the view. This was another of the Duke's favourite places on the estate. The countryside was lush and green, while the sound of the water travelling across the rocks felt soothing whenever he came here. His thoughts soon turned to Sophia. Unable to stop himself from wondering whether she had been here, before he realised that it would be too far for her to walk on her own. Wishing then that he could accompany her, but which would of course be impossible.
Nevertheless she would love everything about it, as he did. Then no doubt write a few lines of lovely verse in the journal she carried everywhere about nature this time, he thought sadly. Trying also to put the image out of his mind of her standing bravely in front of an audience at his mother's instigation, apparently not being afraid to read her words, and which had impressed him immensely. Increasing the stirring of love he already felt for her, he realised. As he turned back to Howard who was by this time staring uneasily at the ground, and not as Edward had imagined he would be, at the view.
It had been easy to guess the underlying reason for the Earl requesting that they should meet this morning. Edward had suggested Carlfield so that he could take his favourite horse out, but even though he had enjoyed the ride his heart sank, now that they were on their own. It might have made the conversation he was about to have with his companion a little easier, if they had been with other people. Maybe at one of their clubs, and Howard didn't waste any time. He asked Edward straight away if he had given any more thought to making a proposal for Lucy's hand in marriage.
Without knowing the real reason why the Earl was intent on a betrothal being made as soon as possible, Edward still thoughtthat it would be foolish not to consider marrying his daughter. Primarily to please his mother, and strengthen his business connections. Just then however, a different image of Sophia came to mind which he found impossible to ignore. She was staring directly at him, and smiling sadly as she looked into his eyes. He somehow felt that she was reminding him strongly of his desire to marry for love, as his parents had done. So that the truth of the matter came rushing back to him. Irrespective of his beautiful surroundings, and belief that being married to Lady Lucy would be the most sensible option, the Duke simply couldn't deny his feelings for his mother's companion which went far beyond a simple attraction. Miss Sophia Barlow was the woman he wished to marry. Had he any choice in the matter.
Howard looked the Duke in the eye, and said that he had been intending to allow him to take as much time as he needed before reaching a decision. However, following the events at Lady Cynthia's literary evening along with the gossip he had been informed by his wife was continuing across the salons in the ton and elsewhere, the matter had clearly escalated. So that having the luxury of time was no longer possible. Even worse was the suggestion being made that a scandal had taken place at Lady Cynthia's soiree, which didn't only include the Duke and a possible liaison with his mother's companion, but also his own daughter. Lady Amelia had assured him that this was already being repeated, and considered, by the most reliable sources of gossip.
