“You bailed on me—”
“I didn’t mean to—” I tried to hold the tears back, but they were right there, a vice closing on my throat.
“Yes, you did!” He yelled. “I was going through the worst time in my fucking life, and I needed you! I told you I needed you, and you bailed on me, Sydney!” He slapped his hand against the truck, and I flinched at the impact.
He took a deep, uneven breath and ran a hand through his hair as he tried to compose himself. His drunken voice was low and gravelly again, saturated in suffering.
“I would never do that to you.”
My heart cracked open, and my tears made their presence known.
“I’m sorry,” I cried.
He looked at me with glassy eyes, too hurt to see me, or too angry to care.
“No. You’re not.” He backed away. “You’re just sorry you have to face it.” He shook his head, and I closed my eyes tightly as tears poured from them.
“Don’t worry, Syd. I don’tneed youanymore.” He seethed. “I figured out how to live without you. Just like you wanted.”
I sobbed as my heart was ripped out of my body.
“That’s not what I wanted…”
“No?” He scoffed. “Could’ve fooled me.”
He waited for my response, but I wasn’t sure I could give it. I wasn’t sure it would be enough. But I had to findwords. I owed him as much. I took a deep breath and searched hard for my voice.
“I don’t know how to be around you. It’s better this way.”
He let out an airy, smug laugh as he pointed at me.
“Better for who? For you?” He lowered his hand as he slowly moved toward me. “Why, so you can lie to yourself and say you don’t want me how I want you?” He stopped just before me. “I was there that night, Syd. I know what would’ve happened next.”
A shiver ran down my spine and straight into my gut.
“Nothingwould’ve happened next.”
“Nothing?”
He closed the space between us, his voice low, deep, and thick, and my heart sped up with my breath. He placed both hands beside my head again, and he spoke only so I could hear. His voice was an electric wave on my skin.
“Is that what you tell yourself, Syd? So, you can pretend you don’t want me? Like it’s not what you’ve wanted since we were sixteen? ‘Breathe the way you breathe, like only a lover understands,’ right?”
My eyes widened, and my jaw fell slightly at my own words spit back at me. He smirked with a cocky, crooked grin.
“What’d you think I’d forget?”
I couldn’t answer. My eyes locked on his, strong and steady, but inside, I was screaming.
“I remember everything when it comes to you.”
My breath was weak and shaky, and I could feel it in my suddenly malleable bones—I was going to lose my will any second.
“Say it, Sydney. Say that’s not what you meant.” His eyes danced between mine, and his next words dripped with a seduction that made my whole being come alive. “Say you don’t want to fuck me, and I’ll leave you alone.”
I almost couldn’t take it. The sound of his twisted, intoxicated voice. The use of his explicit words and their erotic implication. A tremor ran the length of me, and I nearly came undone right there in front of him.
His eyes fell to my lips, and it took everything I had not to collapse my mouth onto his. Desire rolled off me in waves, I was sure he could feel. My thoughts spun in rapid succession as I tried to find the words that would end this. That would save me from myself.
