I closed it quickly, suddenly embarrassed. “Just words.”
“Let me see.” He reached for the book, and I pulled away.
“No,” I said too quickly.
“I thought it wasjust words,” he teased, his eyes glinting with mischief.
“It is. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Then let me see,” he said, snatching the book from my hands before I could stop him.
He flipped it open to the page I’d scribbled in a moment of weakness, and my heart stopped as he read the words to himself:
Pretend.
Remember that game we used to play
When we were innocent and young?
I want to do it all again, so please
Let’s play pretend—
Pretend I don’t want to feel your lips,
Or know the warmth of your hands.
Pretend I don’t want to breathe
The way you breathe,
Like only a lover understands.
Say you don’t feel it too,
So we can play pretend.
Go back to what we know we should,
Pretend that this will end.
Let me stop searching for the answers
To the ache that’s in my soul.
Tell me it was never real,
That the thoughts are mine alone.
Say what I crave was never true,
Never ours to own,
Then whisper that you love me,
And let me die alone.
He stared at it silently, and I felt my heartbeat in my toes.
