“I'mnotgoing to have sex with you in public, nor am I going to have sex with you in your truck. And if I remember correctly, it's a twenty-five-minute drive back to my apartment, and I don't know if I can wait that long.”
Luke let out of breathy laugh. “Well, I'll be damned.”
Ash licked another swipe of their ice cream, and Luke's low, throaty growl made Ash toy with their bottom lip. Ash suddenly wanted to ask Luke a slightly invasive question they were curious about. Ash wondered how Luke categorized his sexuality. He hit on Ash in the bar before knowing they were non-binary, and when he acknowledged the tattoo on their arm, it clearly didn't bother him. Was Luke gay? Was he bi?
“Can I ask you a personal question?” Ash asked. “You don't have to answer if you don't want to.”
“How personal are we talking?”
“I mean,Idon't think it's that serious, but you can be the judge of that.” When Luke motioned for Ash to proceed, they spoke. “How do you classify your sexuality?”
Luke let out a quiet chuckle. “You had me thinking that was a lot more personal than it was.” Luke shook his head. “I'm bisexual.”
“Me too,” Ash said.
“Do you ever feel like—well, maybe you don't, but I certainly do—that sometimes you're not welcomed by the LGBTQ community?” Luke asked, taking another bite of his ice cream.
Ash nodded. “Before I came out as non-binary, yes. It feels like sometimes we're too straight for the queer community and too gay for the straight world.”
Luke nodded emphatically. “And people think they get to decide our sexuality based on the gender of our partners. They think we're straight when we're with someone who's the opposite gender and gay when our partner is the same gender or gender nonconforming. But we're always bisexual; it doesn't matter.”
Warmth spread throughout Ash’s body. “You took the words right out of my mouth. That's always been the most frustrating thing forme as a bisexual, and the fact that people think bisexuality enforces the gender binary.”
There was a misconception bisexuality, because bi meant two, enforced the existence of two genders when, in fact, the definition had evolved to include more than two genders. Ash, as a non-binary person, didn't personally feel like bisexuals discounted non-binary folks. Before Ash came out as non-binary, they had male, female, and non-binary partners. They had been asked repeatedly if they were straight or gay when their partners changed. When they were dating women, Ash’s cousins asked how they could still be bisexual if their partner was someone of the opposite gender. Ash, throughout the years, had to explain that that wasn't how bisexuality worked. They are always bisexual, regardless of their partner’s gender.
Ash had this conversation with many bisexuals throughout the years, but never with a partner. Every once in a while, they would meet someone, maybe even date someone, who didn't view bisexuality the same way they did, and it only ended the relationship. But now, Ash was with a partner who not only understood, but who was also bisexual. They felt welcomed and respected in their relationship, which, in the end, was all Ash could really ask for.
Chapter ten
There was something peaceful about walking around Walmart as Luke pushed the cart and Ash checked items off the shopping list. Grocery shopping with Luke made Ash enjoy what was normally a mundane task. They hated picking the same item up seventy-two different times just to get it home. Ash liked to say if they ever won the lottery, one of the first things they would do is hire somebody to do their grocery shopping for them.
Ash and Luke reached for a can of black beans at the same time, and their hands brushed. As Ash went to pull away, Luke grabbed Ash's hand, threading his fingers through theirs. Ash quickly checked over their shoulders to make sure no one they knew was around, as this Walmart was frequented by students and professors alike. Being seen showing romantic affection was dangerous, but given it was eleven at night on a Tuesday, the likelihood of any of Luke and Ash’s colleagues being there was slim to none. They probably didn't have much to worry about. Still, that didn't stop Ash from worrying. Things were going so well with Luke. They had been on several more dates to Big Dipper BBQ and even attended a drag show downtown. There werea few great Queens in Binghamton who put on one of the best drag shows Ash had ever been to. Ash had suggested the idea, considering Luke had never even been to a drag show, and every queer person should attend a drag show if given the opportunity. Luke enjoyed himself immensely, and once he’d had too many drinks, he didn't think twice about showing affection to Ash. Ash loved the way Luke put his arm around their shoulders and pulled them into his side. They loved the feather-light grace of Luke's fingers up and down their arm that made them nearly leave the show early. When Luke peppered kisses along their neck in the dark room, Ash still couldn't feel settled. They were constantly worrying they would be found out. All they could do to prevent that was try not to show any affection in public, but Luke’s sweet nature had been making that task very difficult.
Luke didn't let go of Ash’s hand as they walked through the store, finalizing their shopping. When Luke bent to kiss Ash’s cheek in the produce aisle, Ash didn’t even have time to look around before Luke's lips were on their face. As soon as Luke pulled away, Ash looked around and breathed a sigh of relief when they realized no one was there.
“This is really stressful for me,” Ash said. “Sneaking around and trying to make sure nobody sees us.”
Luke looked down where their hands were intertwined. “I can stop being so touchy. Would that help?”
“I think so. Every time we touch or you get too close to me, I feel like I'm looking over my shoulder to make sure nobody sees us.”
Luke slowly slid his hand out of Ash’s, and a look flitted across his eyes that Ash couldn't quite place. “We’re not going to get caught, but I understand you're nervous, and I don't want to do anything to further that anxiety for you.”
“Ash,” Jenn’s familiar voice floated through the aisle.
Ash’s worst nightmare became their reality. They leaped away from Luke to ensure they weren't touching before turning their gaze to their old professor. She walked towards them with a hand in the air and a furrowed brow.
“Jenn, what a surprise. What are you doing here?”
“My markers are dried up; I came to get another set.” Jenn turned her gaze to Luke. “Luke, it’s nice to see you again.”
“You too. Are you still covering for Dr. Katz’s orgo class?”
Jenn laughed, light. “Oh, no. He has taken his class back. I can once again focus on my own students. How is your research going, Ash?”
Ash’s voice caught in their throat. They couldn’t breathe. They couldn’t speak. Hell, they couldn’t even think. They were out with Luke late at night. There was nothing professional about this. They couldn’t write this off as just colleagues.
Fuck, Jenn had asked Ash a question. About their research? “It’s good,” Ash eked out, throat dry. “It’s been interesting.”
