Quit giving in.
Then I think of her smiling, and my heart does something stupid.
And I get out of my truck, slamming the door hard enough to rock the frame on the tires.
Fucked.
CHAPTER 21
COOLCOOLCOOL
MOLLY
I'm hot and cold and red all over, hurrying to put on leggings and a bra and a tank, stuffing my feet in Cass's sneakers, but I can't find my Rambler's hat. I know I left it here. Right here. I saw it yesterday. But I find it in the laundry room on top of the dryer. Ghost hand, I guess. You know when your unoccupied hand picks things up and puts things down without any conscious thought? Ghost hand. Just had your keys and can't find them? Ghost hand. Guess mine thought it was doing me a favor.
I can't even find it in me to be annoyed. Not tonight.
Giddy and floaty, I bounce in my seat, humming to the radio as I drive the short distance to the high school fields where we practice. Everyone is here already, and I hurry over, glove tucked under my arm. Grey doesn't look up from his clipboard when I join the team, not even when they say my name, and a prickle of hurt stings me.He doesn't owe you anything, Miss Molly. It's not that serious,I remind myself.Keep it casual. I know thedeal--this is what I signed up for. I've got this! No prob. Just be normal.
This iscasual. Super casual. We're crushing the causal so hard, I feel like I could effectively write a how-to book. Or at the very least, a pamphlet.
Cass is side eyeing me. When I try to smilevery casually, it must be bad because the look turns more concerned than curious. Everyone is stretching except Darren, who is doing some very extreme lunges. Clara snorts.
"You're gonna pull a hammy, Jeter."
"Oh, ha-ha," he says, rolling his eyes. "Y'all are gonna regret notreallystretching when you get a cramp."
"I don't think that's how that works," Cass notes as Grey approaches.
"All right, team. Let's start with catch and toss pairs. Pair up and grab a ball."
Cass hooks an arm in mine, and we walk to the bucket of balls. "I'm so glad you decided to do this with me."
I laugh. "Wait, I had a choice?"
"No, not really, but I'm glad all the same." She grabs a hot pink ball. Grey's standing right next to the bucket but doesn't meet my eyes when I look at him.
My guts twist up in knots.Cool, cool, cool.
When we come to a stop, she looks at me. Like, really looks at me.
"What's going on with you? You've got some weird energy flying around." Taking a step closer, she says quietly, "Are you and Grey…"?
The most awkward laugh barks out of me. "What? No! What do you mean? Weird. That's weird, Cass. We're just friends."
She purses her lips against a smile. "Ah, right. Sure. Catch." She tosses the ball at me as she walks away, and I catch it half with my body, throwing it back to her. My heart is thumping anddumb and annoying and keeps making me look over at Grey. A couple of throws in, the ball hits me in the arm.
"Shit." I rub the spot, bending to pick up the ball.Nowhe's looking. Great. Flustered, I go to throw it back to Cass, who is maddogging me, but I let it go early and it falls behind me and rolls a few feet. "Goddammit."
Grey's voice behind me nearly makes me jump out of my skin. "You sure have a filthy mouth tonight. Adjust your grip, you're holding it with your palm again." He takes my hand and shifts the ball, nodding once as he lets me go. "Try it again."
I want to die. I want to melt into the grass and disappear. But I put on that weird smile, which I realize alsofeelsweird, and chuck the ball at Cass.
"Good," he says and walks away.
Boom. Pussy sweat.
Cass blinks at me, but she's smiling. She mouthsWhat the fuck?at me. I catch the ball and throw it back, shrugging. I manage to focus on what I'm doing enough to survive the drill. It helps not to listen to Grey as he walks around instructing everyone. Instead, I sing "The Wheels On the Bus"in my headover and over again. Why is this so hard?
