“Xavi…”
“Why don’t you sit?” I suggested to Rowe, gesturing to one of the chairs without looking at him. I knew he was tired out, anyway. It had been selfish of me even to insist that we come back down here. I could have left him in the room or let him leave and go home, and no one would have questioned it once they heard about the paint.
I could have found someone else to call me a hero and let me pull them into my bed. A waiter, maybe, or one of Cade’s friends that I hadn’t met before, or maybe someone who just happened to be here at this wedding and had never questioned their own sexuality before. Anyone. I could have taken anyone.
I walked to the bar. A hot guy was serving behind it, shirtsleeves pushed up past the elbows on tattooed arms. I could have tried it with him. I still could.
“How can I help?” he asked, and a million answers danced on my tongue.
“Sparkling water,” I heard myself say. “Two.”
He gave me a look, head tilted towards me. “Mixer?”
“Just water.”
He shrugged and went to make the drinks, and my shoulders sagged, releasing the tension of puffing myself up.
I didn’t want to be like that anymore.
I didn’t want to be fuck-up Xavi Mendez.
Just Xavi Mendez would be fine.
Rowe made me want to be a better man, and the fact that he would be gone soon scared me. What would I do when he was no longer around?
Would I just fall back into being what I always had been?
Maybe if I started with a change now, I could keep it going. If I didn’t sleep with someone or insult someone or get so drunk they had to carry me out and ban me from ever coming back, maybe I could do that again, and again, and be someone else.
I took the waters back to our table and put Rowe’s down in front of him, mumbled an excuse, and went in search of Keaton.
It wasn’t him I found.
Ace stopped me halfway across the dancefloor, making me look up as he lightly hit my arm, getting my attention. He was dancing with Brody, but the music had changed, and there was room for me to stand between them without even feeling like I was interrupting. “Hey. Where’s your boyfriend?”
“Sitting down,” I said, tossing a gesture over my shoulder. “He’s fine.”
“I heard you two got rid of the bride,” Ace said with a sarcastic look. I assumed it was aimed at her, not me. “Good work.”
“It was Rowe,” I said, shaking my head and looking down. “He was amazing with her. I just stood there.”
“Huh.” Ace gave me a snarky grin. “That checks out.”
I looked up and glared at him. To my surprise, he blinked, turning his head to the side as if he needed to see me from another angle to check what his senses were telling him.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
I shook my head dismissively. “As if you care.”
Ace stopped me from walking past him, putting out an arm. “Seriously. What’s up?”
I sighed and folded my arms over my chest. He wasn’t going to let it go? Really? “Look, Ace, I’m not in the mood. I just want to find Keaton. I need to talk to him.”
“I saw him go off with Olly a few minutes ago,” Ace said. “I don’t think they’re coming back. Not until the morning, anyway, if you know what I mean. They were looking kind of hot under the collar.”
“Great.” I scrubbed a hand back over my short hair, the small bristles tickling my hand.
“Just talk to me,” Ace said. He bit his lip, glancing up at Brody and then deliberately turning me away so that we had more privacy. “I mean it. As a friend. You can talk to me the same way you can talk to Keaton.”
