I needed to get back out there and have a life again. Instead, I was working all hours at my start-up, trying to avoid the possibility of socializing altogether. The business was doing better for it, but I wasn’t sure I was. Sooner or later, I was going to have to slow down and take a break before I had a breakdown – and when I did, I was going to have to face up to the reality of the fact that Ace and I were not together.
The longer I could put that off, the better.
We hadn’t even seen each other at the wedding. I’d caught one glimpse of him in a dark suit that made me weak at the knees – our eyes had met – and then he’d been gone, disappeared into a group of guests. I was sure he’d spent the rest of the night hiding from me. I hadn’t managed to get a second look. In the end, I’d gone home early.
It wasn’t like anyone else had really missed me.
A buzzing of my intercom caught my attention, forcing me to get up from the sofa and wander across my apartment to lift the receiver. I spoke into it, wondering who the hell wanted me at this time of evening. “Hello?”
There was no response. I waited for a second, frowning.
“Hello?” I asked again. Sometimes there was a delay with the intercom system. Maybe it hadn’t connected before I said it the first time.
I heard a buzzing noise in the background – a sharp trill and a click. I knew that sound well – it was the sound of the lobby door unlocking. It was the exact same sound I would hear if I’d pressed the unlock button here on my intercom. Someone must have let them in, whoever it was. Maybe they’d misdialed me and actually wanted a different apartment.
I shrugged and put the receiver back, glancing across my room and trying to figure out what to do with my evening.
There was lying in bed staring at the ceiling and trying to sleep while my brain tortured me with all the things I should or should not have said, or there was binging some stupid TV show that wouldn’t require any brain power until way too late at night, and waking up groggy and exhausted again in the morning.
Choices, choices.
A heavy knock at my door made me jump. I glanced over there in surprise, wondering what the hell was going on now. Whoever had rung my buzzer must have come in and walked up to the apartment door just like that. Goddamn it. My neighbors were always buzzing people through even when they didn’t know them. If I could figure out who had done it, maybe I could track them down and give them a few tips about apartment building safety.
I marched the short distance to the door. Whoever it was, I could find out what they wanted – and grill them for information on who had let them in.
I opened the door – and nearly choked in surprise.
“Ace?” I said, barely able to believe what I was seeing. Was I just straight-up hallucinating now? I’d been dreaming about him every night. It wouldn’t be much of a stretch for my dreams to start appearing in front of my eyes.
“Hey,” he said, shuffling a little, and that was how I knew it was real. That, and the fact that there were deep black bags under his eyes – because, in my dreams, I would never have made him look so tired or unhappy. But it was him: same dark beanie, same black hair down to his shoulders, same dark eyes. “Um. Hi.”
“Hi,” I said, a half-laugh turning into a smile I couldn’t stop. I was supposed to hate him right now. I was supposed to be full of resentment for the pain he’d made me feel, but I couldn’t help grinning just at the sight of him. Even if he was here to hurt me more, seeing him again was a joy. “I… what…?”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Ace blurted out. I got the feeling he didn’t want to have to say any of this out loud, but that he wanted to so much at the same time that it was practically painful. Like every word was both forced out and bursting out of him. “I need – we need – I mean, Ihopeyou need…”
“What?” I asked, the smile curving my mouth wider as I bit my lip.
“We need to give this a shot.” Ace looked into my eyes openly, and all I saw there was need – pure and simple. He was serious.
But how serious?
Even though this was everything I’d ever wanted, I had to be careful. I couldn’t get my heart broken again. Not when I’d already done a month of time getting him out of my system. Not when we didn’t know each other well enough yet for every single thing in the universe to be a painful reminder when he was gone.
I couldn’t do this if he was going to be gone again in the morning.
“I want to give it a shot,” I said. “I want you. But it’s got to be all or nothing.”
“Please,” Ace said, his voice cracking on the word, ice finally melting once and for all into the sea, and I couldn’t resist him for a second longer.
I stepped forward at the same time as he did, our mouths crashing together like waves in a storm. He melted against me, flowing into my arms, and everything was right and perfect in the world. I held him close as he clung to me, neither of us willing to let go as our kiss deepened.
“See?” he breathed. “Anyone could have seen us, right here on your doorstep. I don’t care anymore. I just need you so badly.”
“Baby,” I murmured, caressing his cheek. He leaned up towards me, seeking my mouth again, but I put my thumb across his lips to stop him. His point about people seeing us in public didn’t do much, given we were inside a closed apartment building. “I need more than this.”
“Anything,” Ace said. His eyes were wide, begging. “What can I do to prove it to you? I don’t care. I’ll do anything. Anything if you’ll let me in.”
I considered for a moment, a smile twisting my lips again. I dug into my pocket for my phone, keeping my other arm firmly wrapped around him, holding him against my chest. “Take a selfie with me.”
