And for a horrible moment, sitting there hanging onto his hand, I thought he was actually going to say no.
Brody
I should have said no. This was a colossally terrible idea. Having sex with Ace was addictive, it was amazing, and it was something I should completely have avoided now I knew that it was probably damaging for both of us.
Him because he wasn’t stable enough in himself to fully be with someone else yet, and me because I was falling for him more and more with every moment of contact.
So, why did this keep happening?
It was a question I couldn’t answer, even as I lined up against him and pushed inside, almost a little bit surprised to find myself there. It was like I was leaving – I had every intention of leaving – I was literally turning to go – and I blinked and found myself fucking Ace again instead.
I wished I could have said I regretted it or that it was some kind of nightmare, but it was the opposite. It was a dream – and I didn’t want to ever wake up.
I held his hips tight so I could drive deeper into him, watching his face, never wanting to stop watching his face. He bit his lip, his neck reddening slightly as I fucked him harder and harder, his head back against the pillow and sliding almost into the headboard. I leaned forward quickly and adjusted, pulling him back so he wouldn’t hit his head and get hurt.
“Oh, god,” he moaned, seemingly forgetting that it was him who’d wanted to keep quiet, even in here. I could have corrected him, stopped him. But it was the middle of the day. Everyone we knew was still out by the pool. We weren’t scheduled to do anything except have lunch, hang out by the pool, and get ready for dinner later tonight. This was the last day of the trip, a chance to chill and spend some time together.
Well, Ace and I were definitely doing that.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I settled into a steady rhythm of thrusts. The pleasure I felt was still heady, still driving me wild more than anyone else ever had, but I wanted to look at him. I was passing time almost, showing willing with my moves so I could buy a few more minutes of looking at him spread out below me. He was beautiful, in all ways. His body, his tattoos, his face – open to me with his hair thrown back against the pillows, no longer hiding behind that or a beanie. His glorious dick bobbed between us and I reached to grab it, stroking him just because I wanted to appreciate and admire him so much.
He was everything.
And if this was the last day I ever got to spend with him, I wanted to record every single second of it in minute detail in my mind. I had a feeling this memory was going to be all I had to sustain me for a long time.
“Brody,” he wheezed, throwing up one arm over his head, and I realized I’d brought him close to the edge again. I gave my hips an extra little twist, rolling right against the spot inside him that I knew now would push him over, letting him have it all. I watched his face tighten and slacken, felt his dick move in my hand and pulse, and watched streaks of his cum land over my fingers and his own stomach.
God, he was so beautiful.
I came just watching him, just knowing I’d been able to give him that much. It was a perfect moment: the two of us bound in the throb of ecstasy through our bodies, in the afterglow, in that white-heat fuzziness blocking out the rest of the world for just a minute.
How could we ignore this? How could we really pretend that what we had, this incredible sexual chemistry, was nothing?
How could we fight it?
And yet… I knew.
Sitting back on my heels, looking down at him, watching as the afterglow drained away and he came back to reality, I knew it was over.
Tomorrow morning we were going to walk away from each other. He wouldn’t stop me. And I knew it wouldn’t be right to stop him.
My heart clenched and squeezed in my chest, looking down at my perfect happy ending and knowing it wasn’t meant for me at all.
“What time is it?” Ace asked, breaking through my thoughts as he swung his legs past me, over the side of the bed.
Back to normal, then. Just like nothing had ever happened.
I looked at my phone and swore. “It’s already three in the afternoon. We missed lunch completely.”
“Shit!” Ace exclaimed, grabbing his own phone to verify what I’d said. “What are we going to tell them?”
“I don’t know,” I said, pausing to run a hand back through my sweaty hair. “I guess… we were both tired, so we fell asleep in the room after going back to change? Maybe we could say we were only supposed to sleep until lunch but we both thought the other one was going to set an alarm.”
The way the lies came to me so easily made me feel sick to my stomach. I was glad we’d missed lunch so I had nothing to bring up. Knowing that he only needed me to lie for him because he was ashamed of being with me...
No, not only that, I reminded myself. He had his own demons.
“That’s too suspicious,” he said immediately. “Won’t everyone just assume we were having sex?”
