“Alright,” I said reluctantly. I’d wanted to ask her about how school was going and whether she had any news of her own, but these calls had to be quick and quiet. If our parents heard her talking to me, we had no idea how they would react. And there was no chance they were going to let her head out anyway as a pretext to taking a call from me, since they had her under lock and key for her studies. She was practically grounded even though she’d never done anything wrong, and from the way she talked, I knew it must have gotten even worse since I left. “I’ll talk to you next week, right?”
“Same time,” Clara confirmed. “Love you, Keat.”
“Love you, Clar,” I said, and she hung up.
I sighed, taking the phone down from my ear. Talking to Clara always brought out mixed emotions these days. There was so much pain in the memory of family – of what I had lost. How things used to be. But there was also joy and love for the fact that in spite of everything, she wouldn’t abandon me.
In spite of everything, I knew I would always have my sister.
I breathed for a moment, looking at my phone. I swiped off a few notifications I didn’t need, then opened my emails to read the one new message I apparently had.
It was an email from the Dean.
My heart raced suddenly as my eyes flew over the text.Pleased to confirm we have found a new room assignment –
They had found me a new roommate.
I was going to be moving.
I bit my lip, thinking. I was going to move out just as things had become more cordial and easy between Olly and me. We’d finally got to a point where we could get along together – work together, even. And it would screw up the documentary if I moved out.
Or maybe that was just what I was telling myself to justify spending more time with Olly, because somehow, now that the fog had cleared a little and I could see there was a nice guy somewhere underneath it all, I was actually enjoying it.
Maybe, just maybe a little bit, I was actually starting to enjoy rooming with him, something that I had never thought was remotely possible. Even if it was a constant torture to have to wake up and have his perfect abs in my face on the bed on the other side of the room.
I didn’t have to mention this right away, did I? I could pretend I hadn’t seen it. The Dean might follow up with a second email, or a call, and I could reply then and say I was really sorry I had missed it. Blame the busyness of a new school year.
I didn’t have to say anything right away.
Not until I’d had some more time to think.
Olly
I slammed my locker door open, making it clatter against the locker next to it. I furiously tugged my gym bag out to start grabbing my things.
“Woah, Harvey,” one of my teammates, Aiden, said. He jumped back from me in alarm. I wasn’t sure if he was serious or just being dramatic. “What’s got into you?”
I fumed, blowing out a breath through my nose to try to calm down. “Nothing,” I said. I unzipped my bag so hard that the zipper came off in my hand.
“Seriously?” Aiden asked. I glanced left at him. He immediately put his hands up and started backing away. He was as tall as me and probably built about the same. He didn’t have any reason to be afraid of me. Whatever he saw on my face, he just didn’t want to deal with it.
I returned my attention to my bag and pulled out my stuff. I yanked my shirt over my head and grabbed my jersey to replace it. I pulled it so hard I almost ripped a seam, feeling the tension just in time and letting go.
Fuck.
I really needed to calm down.
I slammed my hand against the metal of the locker and then rested my forehead on it. The metal was cool. It felt like it was literally cooling down my thoughts.
I was so stupid. So stupid, and it was going to ruin everything.
The worst thing was it was myself I was angry at. I had no way to get that anger out than by taking it out on everyone and everything around me. It didn’t even help me hate myself less.
“Harvey. My office.” I looked up at the disappearing figure of Coach, who had already turned his back on me. He was walking away. Apparently, the only choice I had was to follow. I glanced at Aiden and the other guys in the locker room. They were all watching me. I sighed and squared my shoulders before following him.
Coach’s office was at the end of the hall leading to the locker rooms. It was packed with trophies and shields. The walls were hung with framed photographs of every winning team he’d ever coached here. It was intimidating, standing there. I folded my arms over my chest and tried not to let it show. Coach closed the door behind me and sat at his desk. He regarded me for a minute like he was waiting for me to say something.
“Well?” he prompted. His hair was greying at the temples. Maybe from the stress of having to deal with players like me.
