Never mind. He was still a cunt.
He carried on, completely oblivious, “So, anyway, I’m really surprised she didn’t mention to you that I’m a footballer. Like, I’m a pretty big deal.”
Violet slumped a little in her chair, her sigh gentle as Dick droned on about himself. “Did she tell you I’m a stripper on the weekends?” she said at last, her voice so soft I wouldn’t have caught had I not been listening so intently. “I like to lure men to dark corners so I can steal their souls.”
I smiled into my hand, amused that she had some fire in her after all.
“Sounds cool,” he muttered, clearly not listening to a word she’d just said. Probably too busy undressing her pretty pink dress with his eyes. “You should really come to a match and watch me play.”
“Sometimes I choose to eat them, you know? Bathe in their blood for eternal youth.”
Dick sipped his drink, nodding enthusiastically.
“I find they taste like pork.”
Christ.
“Pork? Oh, I don’t eat pork,” Dick said, blinking up at her. “I’m on a super strict diet to keep myself as fit as possible.”
“Hmm,” she hummed, expression stoic. “So, yeah, if you’ll excuse me. I need to use the bathroom.” Not waiting for a response, Violet got up and headed past the bar towards the back.
Dick turned to watch her go, waiting until she was out of sight before his hand disappeared into his jacket pocket.
I sat a little straighter, leaning forward on the table as Dick pulled out a sachet of powder. He was subtle, using his body to block anyone’s sight of the glasses as if he’d done this before. Quickly looking over his shoulder he eased back, only for the sachet to have disappeared and his finger to be in Violet’s glass, twirling the wine.
Well, this was inconvenient to my plan.
Jumping up, I was out of my seat and across the room in a few steps. Considering it was a Thursday night, the pub was relatively quiet. Which made my move all the more obvious as I purposely knocked the wine onto the fucker’s lap.
“Sorry about that, mate,” I said, giving Dick a teasing smile. “Didn’t see you there.”
Dick had already jumped up, the white wine soaking into his jeans. I even dramatically reached over the table for some tissues, making sure I knocked his beer over too.
“Aw, it makes you look like you’ve pissed yourself,” I chuckled, just to add salt to the wound. “You should really clean yourself up before your date gets back.”
“You stupid prick!” Dick snarled, shoving my arm away when I began to dab his crotch with the tissues. No wonder he resorted to vile measures to get women into bed; he didn’t have much to work with in the cock department. “Get the fuck off me!”
Let’s hope he was a grower, not a shower.
I handed him the rest of the tissues, dipping my head close to his ear. “Don’t worry, mate, I’m sure your micro-penis can find awillingparticipant next time.” I felt him still, his breath a little ragged at being caught. “Seriously though, you should probably get checked out by a professional. Maybe they have a pump to help with yourlittlesituation?”
“Fuck you,” he snarled, trying to jerk away. But I’d already gripped the back of his neck, keeping him close even as my skin crawled at the contact.
“No need to take your small dick problems out on me. Now, you’re going to turn around and leave.” I leaned closer, my fingers digging in hard enough to bruise. “If I catch you contacting Violet again, I’m going to find you and cut that pathetic excuse of a pecker from your body, then shove it up your arsehole. Sideways, because we both know you wouldn’t feel it otherwise.”
Slapping him gently on the cheek, I stepped around him, making my way towards the emergency exit at the back. I didn’t need to be psychic to know he’d follow, his heavy hand landing on my shoulder with a tight grip only a few seconds later.
“What the fuck did you just say to me?”
I turned on the spot, grabbing his wrist and twisting. Dick screeched, but not before I dragged him through the door and out into the alley.
Hissing, he cradled his wrist to his chest when I let go, only to punch him straight in the face. My knuckles made that satisfying crunch when they hit his nose, blood pouring down his front in a glorious splatter that stirred my more darker urges that I usually kept firmly locked away.
Unless, of course, I was in the mood for a little mayhem. Like tonight.
“Fuck!” Dick snarled, pulling out a knife.
“Wow, you really pack a lot for dates, huh,” I mused, the streetlights glinting off the metal. “What’s that for, when she says no?”
