Macie slammed on the brakes and spun the car around, quickly heading back toward the lit highway. As she started the trek back toward campus, she gave me a sideways glance and a small smile. I wasn’t sure if it was because she was happy we found Logan, or if she was full of questions about where we had been headed.
Regardless, I was happy about where we were headed now.
CHAPTER 27
Logan
The realization I came to about myself, and how I shouldn’t be with Ava…destroyed me. She didn’t deserve to be with someone who had a past like mine. A past that would continue to haunt me my entire life and wreak havoc along the way. I should have been punished for what I’d done.
Now I had to see Lanie.
I found my truck parked in front of Xander’s apartment. I wasn’t even sure how I found it, I’d only heard his address in passing. But his Jeep was parked nearby, so I figured it had to be the right place. My phone vibrated repeatedly in my pocket. I’d missed several calls and texts, all from Becca and Ty. Instead of answering them, I shoved the phone in my glovebox.
My finger shook as it hovered over the doorbell. But I finally pressed it.
“Hey, man.” Xander answered the door. “What’s up?”
I didn’t know what to say to him. He opened the storm door, inviting me in. I could tell by the way he looked at me he was aware that something was going on.
“Logan,” he said in a serious tone. “Are you OK? You’ve got a lot of people looking for you.”
My hands rubbed at my head, down over my face as I stood frozen in place. I needed to do this but suddenly didn’t know how. As Xander stood staring at me, his head tilting as he did, the confusion built in his look the longer I remained silent.
“I’ve had better days,” I said.
Then Lanie was by his side. Her bright smile changed abruptly when she assessed the situation.
“Everything OK?” she asked no one in particular.
“I’m trying to figure that out myself,” Xander told her. “Logan, why don’t you c’mon in?” He held the door open wider. He smiled. A very welcoming smile.
As did Lanie.
I was still having trouble breathing. My hands trembled at my sides. I was struck with such intense fear to move forward with my plan. My head swiveled, looking side to side, wondering if I should just retreat and leave.
Then I felt a soft hand grasp mine. Lanie smiled as she guided me inside, Xander holding the door.
“It’s OK, Logan,” she said at my side. “We’re here for you.”
My feet allowed me to move forward as I entered the apartment. There were voices from the other side of the main floor, and I panicked.
“We’re heading upstairs,” Lanie said as she guided me to the steps.
She pulled me to a room at the end of a long hall, Xander already inside. He gestured for me to take a seat in a recliner he had in the corner of his room. Lanie closed the door, and they put the TV on low, I could only assume for privacy.
“I’m going to head downstairs,” Xander said. “Let me know if you need me.” He said this directly to Lanie.
“Stay,” I said.
Xander looked at me, his eyebrows lifting.
“Please,” I said.
He nodded and leaned against his desk, his arms across his chest. Lanie stayed with me, sitting on the end of the bed and leaning in close.
“I…uh…” My stuttering was due to my erratic heartbeat. The panic attack was so close. “Did you hear what happened last night? To Ava?”
Her sideways glance at Xander was my answer; they knew.
