This was beyond anxiety or a panic attack. He seemed to be at a breaking point, and I didn’t know what to do to help him. What I did know was restraining him was not the answer. As he moved for the door, I let him go.
Once he threw it open, there were two sets of concerned eyes waiting on the other side. Macie and Becca both looked on the verge of tears standing in the hall outside my room.
“Get the fuck out of my way!” he yelled as he barreled past them and ran down the stairs.
They slowly stepped through the door toward me, eyes wide and full of questions, as they tried to assess the situation. Becca kept looking where he once stood, no doubt wanting to go after Logan. Macie came to my side, her arms around me, consoling and comforting me.
As I looked back and forth between the two of them, it was obvious one was clear about the situation, and one was in the dark.
“What’s going on, Ava?” Macie asked.
“I…uh…” How did I answer that? I knew they heard what Logan said, but what did they surmise about us? “Logan is saying ridiculous things about himself, he’s distraught. Last night is bringing up his experience with Lanie.”
“Did he say where he was going this time?” Becca asked as she started for my door.
I shook my head as I followed. The three of us hurried downstairs, checking to see if he was still home, but the first floor was empty. A quick peek out the front window showed an empty space where his truck had been parked.
“His truck is gone,” I told them.
“I have to text Ty,” Becca said. “He’ll know what to do.”
She pulled out her phone as she walked away. Macie turned to me.
“Let’s go sit down,” she said as she guided me to the couch. She turned on the TV, which I appreciated, because I didn’t want to talk. As we sat huddled together, we heard Becca talking to Ty.
“Has he answered you? Is he at your place yet?” Her voice was frantic as she waited for his answers. “Ty, where could he be? He should be to your place by now. What about the rugby house? Can you call over there?”
She was pacing the floor behind the couch.
I felt numb. Macie was my best friend, and I wanted to confide in her, tell her everything, but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t tell her I was destroying the man I was falling in love with.
And I was going to hurt him more by walking away.
“Ty got in touch with one of the players who said that Logan was at the rugby house earlier today, but he’s not there now,” Becca said. She was frazzled, texting multiple people at the same time, trying to locate him.
I hated that all of this was happening because of me.
I did this.
Pulling out my phone, I started doing the same. Though our shared contacts were fewer, it couldn’t hurt to try. Then I thought about the spot on the mountain, and how he would go there to think.
“I think I know where he could be!”
The three of us piled in Macie’s car as I tried to remember how to get there. I knew approximately where the desolate road off the highway was, but not exactly.
“Go slower, it might be right up here,” I said.
Becca was still making calls to everyone she knew in the back seat while we drove.
“Lanie’s calling me back,” Becca said, some excitement in her voice. “Hey…” Then her words became hushed.
“Turn here,” I told Macie.
“This is a dirt road, Ava. Are you sure?” she questioned as she surveyed the dark area. “What were you two doing up here?”
“Macie, turn around,” Becca said. “He’s at Lanie and Xander’s, he just pulled up. Ty’s heading there too.”
