His once best friend faced him. “We both know that me staying will not appease you.”
Rhay let out a sigh. “Where did everything go so wrong between us? Do you remember, years ago, when you would seek me out after your private training sessions with your father and we would empty my flask together in our secret spot?”
Karwyn’s gaze softened. “I remember it all. It is you who seems to have forgotten.”About us.Rhay could hear the unspoken words perfectly.
Removing his emerald flask, he offered it to Karwyn. “I’m willing to try if you are. A question for a question.”
Karwyn stilled, his eyes flickering from Rhay’s flask to his eyes. Hesitantly, he grabbed the flask and took a sip. Karwyn grimaced as the strong scent of alcohol drifted around them, but then immediately gulped down more. It had been a long time since Rhay had seen him drink. Karwyn had always been a lightweight.
“I will start,” Karwyn said, handing the flask back to Rhay. His eyes had already turned glassy. “Do you hate me?”
The question hit Rhay harder than expected.Hate?He didn’t hate him, and that was precisely the problem. “No, but you’re not making it easy.” Rhay drank from his flask, avoiding Karwyn’s gaze.
“I am aware,” Karwyn replied, his words slightly slurred. “But you are making it even more difficult.”
“How so?”
“You were supposed to be my advisor. You were supposed to follow me,supportme, as I became high king. We promised to never abandon each other. You were the one who jumped off the wagon, not me.”
Rhay remembered the promise they had made as children. It had saved his life back then. When Rhay had first arrived in Parae, he had just lost his mother. His father hadn’t had the time to care for his son, or maybe he had been so hurt by the death of his wife that he hadn’t been able to handle raising his child. A child who bore a striking resemblance to his mother.
Rhay had been left to his sadness. And then he had met Karwyn. Karwyn had been different as a child; he hadn’t learnt to mask his sorrow yet. Their friendship and mutual training had allowed Rhay to heal from his pain. They had both had a hole in their hearts from the absence of their mothers and the constant pressure of dissatisfied fathers.
But that was long ago.
Guilt stabbed at Rhay’s heart, but he knew it wasn’t all on him, not with the darkness Karwyn had succumbed to. A realisation took hold.
“When we were little, we used to say that we would never be our fathers. You would come to me, tears in your eyes,promisingto never be like him.” Rhay watched Karwyn’s glassy eyes turn dark. “It wasn’t me who broke a promise first, Karwyn. It was you, and I never even realised until now.”
Karwyn’s gaze turned cold, his emotions restrained. “I am not my father. I am forging my own path.”
“A path stemming from the need to please your father and jump over your dead half-brother’s shadow.”
Karwyn got right in his face. The only emotion visible on his face now was rage. “How dare you question my reign? You have no idea what it is like to be king.None.”
“You say I’m the one who doesn’t support you, yet Itriedto be your advisor. Maybe I haven’t tried hard enough, but you can’t deny you’ve been leaving me out on purpose.” Rhay took a shallow breath, not sure if he was about to regret his words. “Why, Karwyn.Why?”
Karwyn’s face was stoic, a perfect mask. “Your imagination is running wild. I am not keeping you out. I am using you to the best of your abilities while trying to accommodate your obvious disdain for being my advisor. You should thank me for being so thoughtful.”
“You always say I don’t want to know the truth, but I am asking you now.” The words that Rhay had kept inside came out in a rush. “Are you responsible for the Quarnian attack?”
Rhay was unsure if he wanted to hear an excuse or a reason. He forced himself not to turn away, not to run from the room—from thetruth.
Karwyn exhaled loudly as if he was done dancing around the inevitable. “What if I am?”
Rhay felt like a sword had been pushed through his chest. He finally dropped his weapon that he had forgotten all about. The sound of the sword hitting the ground barely registered with him. “How?”
Karwyn remained deadly still. “Everyone can be bought. You merely have to ensure no one is left to tell the tale.”
Ice coated Rhay’s skin. He fought the urge to turn away even as his heart begged him to cover his ears. “You were the one who killed all the attackers, then? You were afraid they would talk.” The full horror was finally sinking in, awaking his desire to wipe his own mind, to forget it all.
“Do not be ridiculous,” Karwyn said, a drunken laugh escaping him. “I have my shadow for that.”
“And still you say you’re nothing like your father. You’re torturing fae in the underground too, aren’t you?”
If Karwyn was surprised, he didn’t show it. “A king has to make sacrifices. That does not make me like him. There are so many things I want.” His gaze drifted to Rhay’s lips. In Karwyn’s drunken state, Rhay could feel his need clearly. But he doubted Karwyn was capable of feeling anything anymore. “Things I know I will never have. But it is not too much to ask for your support. To ask you to keep your promise and stay by my side as my advisor, as you weremeantto be.”
“You’re right, you’re not like your father. In some ways, you’reworse.” This time, Karwyn flinched, but he didn’t move back. “You try to control everything, but you never take risks that matter.Youpushedmeaway first. Same with your feelings, you never do anything about them. You’ve become emotionless, a shell. You’re a fucking coward.” Rhay spat out the last words, his hand tightening around his flask. He was sick of dancing around their almost kiss.
