“Yes,” he answered. Taking up a knife, he cut and dished up three generous slices, ignoring her raised eyebrows.
“I like it when Matt cuts the pies,” Josiah said with a lisp. His huge grin exposed two missing front teeth.
“I’ll bet you do. Now go on into the dining room and sit. I’ll bring you each a glass of milk. Shoo. Then we’re going upstairs. It’s time you were all ready for bed.”
“Laurie,” Matt said, catching her hand. “Will you at least think about it? Will you give me a chance to prove you wrong?”
“In your bed, I suppose?” she asked with a drawn-out sigh.
“Of course not,” he barked back. “I would not dishonor you that way.”
“Then how?”
“Let me kiss you,” he pleaded. “Let me hold you in my arms and touch you. If you hate it, and I mean really hate it, I will stop. I’m not talking about fear, sweetheart. It would be natural to feel some fear after what you’ve been through, but being a little frightened is not the same as being repulsed.
“I know you care for me,” he insisted. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, Miss Laurie Dixon. It’s true and you know it. Maybe it’s not the same as me being crazy about you, but it’s there in your eyes just the same.
“You’ve refused me over and over. Isn’t it only fair to give me a chance to change your mind? Wouldn’t you like to feel a man’s hands on you, touching you with a gentle passion?”
Laurie poured three glasses of milk and set them on a tray. For a moment, her shoulders slumped, then they stiffened, and she left the room, returning a few minutes later.
“I’ll admit I care for you, Matthew Whittaker,” she nervously replied. “And for the most part, I trust you, but I’ll have to really give this some thought, and to tell you the truth, I don’t have much time for ruminating on love and romance.”
“Make time,” he ordered, immediately regretting his tone when her eyes flew to his. Instantly, the room took on a chill.
“I’m sorry,” he stammered out, feeling like a schoolboy himself. “Go on and spend some time with your boys,” he stated firmly. “I’ll finish up out here. Are the box lunches done for The Duchess?”
“Yes,” she replied stiffly.
“Good. Once I’m done here, I’ll take them over.”
“Thank you.”
“My pleasure, and forgive me for speaking harshly, Laurie. It’s just that every time I see the sadness and fear in your pretty blue eyes, it breaks my heart a little. I long to keep a smile on your face, sweetheart. If you give me the opportunity, that’s exactly what I plan to do.”
Laurie looked at him. It was clear she was tired. He’d put enough pressure on her for one evening.
“I’ll be by tomorrow. You need more wood chopped and hopefully I can get here a little earlier to help you with the supper crowd.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Matthew,” she whispered, “but just the same, I’m grateful.”
“To be fair, I want a whole lot more than gratitude from you,” he informed her. When she fled the kitchen, he turned back to the dishes.
An hour later,the kitchen was set to rights. All the work surfaces had been scrubbed down with the same dedication to cleanliness his mother embraced. She and Laurie would get along fine. They were both good mothers and concerned with doing things in the proper way. He could picture them sitting before the hearth, enjoying their needlework and talking. Why couldn’t Laurie see they were perfect together? Why didn’t she sense that she was meant to be his wife?
He would be a good father to the boys and welcome more children. While they’d never be wealthy like the Wainwrights, neither she nor the children would want for anything. They could have a good life together if only she would realize how much he cared for her. If she did, she would no longer be afraid of the intimacy of the marriage bed. He would never hurt her, at least not sexually. However, the itch to spank some of the stubbornness out of her was becoming stronger.
It would be a mistake. He knew that instinctively. She would see it as violence against her. Damn, if Floyd Dixon were still alive, he might be tempted to kick the shit out of him. What had he done to that woman?
Laurie didn’t say much about her marriage. He recalled hearing things, disturbing things and he always picked up on her sadness whenever she was nearby. It was difficult to keep his eyes off her when he happened to run into her in church or the mercantile. When she opened the Blue Bonnet after Floyd’s death, Matt had been one of her first customers. How could he resist when she was such a good cook? But he figured he’d have been a staple at the café even if the meals she prepared tasted like dirt, as would most of the other single men in town. Even the married ones made excuses to take a meal there just to look at her.
Her boys were rambunctious a good deal of the time, but she never yelled at them. No, it was more of a gentle scolding, and that was usually enough to shame them into behaving. Ironically, he realized he was much the same.
Packing up the lunches for The Duchess, he admitted he would do about anything to gain her smile, and her frown was enough to make him rethink his attitude. As much as he wanted to take her over his knees now and then, he also knew he’d cut off his own arm rather than hurt someone who’d already been through so much.
Walking into the dining room, he saw that Laurie had already taken the boys upstairs. Matt checked the lock on the front door and flipped the closed sign over. She must have been preoccupied when she took the boys up and Matthew hoped it was because she was thinking about what he’d said.
Picking up the baskets of food, he let himself out the back door. He’d stop by later and make sure she’d come down to lock up. For now, he had another conversation to have over at The Duchess, and this time he was not in the mood to be put off.
