Seconds later, I was blinking up into the face of a stranger, a woman with a kind expression. She was holding out a bottle of water. I took it, my hand trembling. The arena was still spinning.
She talked to Lottie for a minute, discussing what to do with me as I turned my head, craning my neck for a look at the big screen. Only a corner was visible from this angle, but I could see Jesse being led out – walking, but heavily supported on one side.
‘A terrifying end to one of the best rides we’ve seen in the past year! The score to beat!’ the announcer roared. The crowd was clapping as Jesse left.
‘I want to see him,’ I murmured to Lottie, feeling her hesitate for a moment. ‘Please – I’ll be fine, I just need to see him.’
I gritted my teeth as she pulled me up, assisted by two others, and thanked them as we slowly walked out.
‘You scared the shit out of me,’ she said, letting out a shaky breath.
‘Sorry,’ I replied, attempting a small smile as my balance slowly returned. ‘I seriously need to toughen up to all this, don’t I?’
She exhaled, raising her eyebrows. ‘That, or a bottle of whiskey beforehand,’ she muttered, shaking her head. ‘Fucking insane sport.’
I murmured my agreement as we made our way steadily around the outside, the cooling evening air helping to dissolve the tension through my body, until . . .
‘Is that –’ I started, seeing an ambulance move in closer to the back of the building, picking up my pace as Lottie did the same.
A group of men emerged from the stadium, and there, between them, was Jesse. Still in full rodeo gear, covered in dirt.
‘Jesse!’ I yelled, not knowing if he would hear from this distance. I broke into a wobbly run as the ambulance doors opened. ‘Wait – Jesse, please!’
The men around him stopped, parting as he turned towards me.
I continued at full pace, Lottie dropping back as we neared.
‘Oh, thank fuck,’ I cried, my heart rending as he tried to smile. It turned into a grimace of pure pain as I reached him.
‘Ma’am, we need to get him to hospital,’ one of the paramedics said, trying to step in my way.
‘No, I can – let her through,’ Jesse said, wincing as he stepped towards me.
We were suddenly face to face, all of the distance, the words and the pain of the past few weeks evaporating.
‘Can you give us a minute?’ Jesse asked the group, frowning as he struggled against the pain. He released his hold on the man to his right and grasped the ambulance door instead. ‘Please.’
As they dispersed, I turned, hearing shouting behind us. Chrissy – her path blocked by Lottie, face red with rage.
‘Lottie’s got it,’ Jesse whispered, his fingers tracing my jaw, gently turning my face back towards him.
And suddenly I couldn’t speak; my eyes were filling, as his did.
‘You came back,’ he murmured, taking in my face.
‘I never really left,’ I finally admitted. The tears were falling freely now, too many to wipe away. Reaching up as he leant down, I closed my eyes as his lips met mine – the feeling I’d thought I would never have again. I almost gasped at the strength of it.
‘I love you, Jesse,’ I whispered, our mouths still touching. ‘I meant it before, even though I screamed it at you.’
He choked a laugh, wincing at the movement.
‘I know,’ he replied, stroking my cheek, kissing me again. ‘I felt it. I’m so sorry that I hung up . . . I’m so sorry about Chrissy. We didn’t . . . I mean, she wanted to, but . . .’
I shook my head, not wanting her name between us.
‘It’s okay, I don’t care. I just – I want to be with you, Jesse. I need to be where you are. Even if it’s here, watching you get fucked up by a goddamn bull.’
He tried to smile, gritting his teeth instead as he held his right arm.
