‘What?’ she questioned, backing up. ‘You’re straight? Seriously?’
I shook my head vehemently, staggering slightly.
‘No,’ I giggled. ‘My first love was a woman. God, she’sstunning. She’s my best friend now. I still love her, but not inthatway.’
The woman raised her eyebrows for a moment.
‘Okaaay, no, that sounds . . . simple.’
‘No, really,’ I persuaded, ‘it is. She loves a man, a cowboy, actually. And so do I. Not the same one, though.’
‘You love a . . . cowboy?’ she questioned. ‘Here? In London?’
I giggled again, but it turned into a groan as a wave of nausea threatened to make this a violently embarrassing end to the evening.
‘No! InWyoming. I don’tjustlove him, though, it’s more than that. It’s not about his dick, though. Although it’s a very, very nice one.’ I made the chef’s kiss sign, watching as she fully backed away, eyebrows raised.
‘Well, I’m happy for you. But maybe, if it doesn’t work out . . . look me up.’
I nodded, suddenly remembering, with searing clarity, the reason I’d got myself into this state in the first place. That Jesse very likely wanted nothing else to do with me again, after Cal’s stunt.
I’d messaged, tried to explain, but nothing. No response.
Which is why, after managing to crawl into bed, I didn’t leave my hotel room for the next forty-eight hours. The realization that Jesse would not only be in pain but might actually hate me was more than I could bear.
After a long, fitful sleep, I lay awake for hours on end, curled in on myself, my brain slowly ticking over the worst moments of my life to date. The image in my mind of Jesse’s face on the screen, thinking he’d realized what was going on, then hanging up seconds later . . . that had wormed its way right into the top spot.
My phone had been ringing on and off for the past two hours, on silent, but the screen lighting up the ceiling in the otherwise dark room. Eventually, irritation seeping through my comatose state, I dragged it onto the bed.
Lottie.
I tapped it to pick up.
‘Hestia?’ she said, her tone breathless. ‘Oh thank fuck, are you there?’
‘Yeah,’ I croaked, brain firing as the anxiety in her voice filtered through the haze.
‘Oh Hes, what happened with Jesse?’
I pushed myself up, pushing my tangled mass of hair back off my face.
‘I don’t know where to start . . .’ I groaned, my head throbbing. ‘I was speaking to him and . . . Cal, he acted like we were together – came walking into my room naked, pretending like I’d left underwear in his room, kissed me in front of Jesse . . .’
Her breath retracted, a horrified pause between us.
‘Oh, fuck. Yeah, okay, that’d do it . . . oh shit, Hes. Listen, please don’t hate me for asking, but you and Cal aren’t really . . .’
‘Jesus Christ, no,’ I moaned, wincing as pain lanced behind my eyes. ‘Why would you assume that? I’ve tried to message Jesse to explain. He’s not responding.’
I swore, grabbing the stagnant glass of water from the nightstand and knocking it back as Lottie scrambled.
‘I’m not assuming,’ she said eventually, her voice firm. ‘But I wanted to double check before I start trying to get Jesse back here. Come on, you know how you and Cal have a . . . different relationship. One minute you’re fighting and the next you’re fucking – I’m not blaming or judging you. I just wanted to get it straight for myself, okay?’
I rubbed my forehead, hating that I knew she was right, but focusing on what she’d said before.
‘What did you mean, get him back here? What’s going on?’
She stopped. I could hear Cole’s voice in the background, his words just out of reach.
