‘Guess what?’ I asked, turning my head to my right, recognition dawning as Chrissy sidled up with one of her friends. I gave them both a small smile. She looked as she always had, a little ray of sunshine in a pair of boots, all fluffy blonde curls and glossed lips – an undeniably pretty smile. One that widened the longer my eyes lingered on her.
‘You’ve ordered a bourbon, neat, of course.’ She paused, holding a finger to her chin for a moment. ‘With a little ice, not too much though.’
I tilted my head, my smile becoming sheepish as my drink and the couple of others arrived. She giggled, glancing back at her friend, who, with one more look at me, wandered off into the crowd.
‘Some things never change, right?’ she said softly, only just audible over the music as she stepped up to me.
I shrugged, paying for my drink and then taking a sip. She gestured to me, wanting to try it, something she’d done when we’d been together. It was something I’d always found cute about her . . . and 100 per cent a tactic to get me to look at her lips. I handed her the drink without a word, not quite knowing why, watching as she grasped it with long nails shaped . . . like Hestia’s always were. Sharpened to points, painted darker than I’d ever seen Chrissy wear, in fact.
‘Wyoming whiskey, right?’ she asked, smiling up at me from under her lashes as I nodded.
‘Yeah, last one to take the edge off before we head up to Livingston Peak. You coming up for the rodeo?’
She pouted for a moment, handing back the glass, fingers lingering on mine. We locked eyes, hers almost pleading, just as they had when I’d called it off months ago.
‘I wanted to, but Danny didn’t have room in the truck with the rest of the team, and Jeanie’s car’s in the shop. Some engine thing got busted up.’
She shrugged and rolled her eyes at my incredulous look, trying not to laugh at her lack of car knowledge. It’d always tickled me that her family were all car mechanics or racers – both, for some of them – but she’d somehow avoided all the shop talk, resolutely staying clear of cars as a life path for herself.
It made me realize, in that moment, that there’d been nothing wrong with me and Chrissy – it was all in my head. She was cute, kind and funny, eager to please.
‘Well, you can come on up with me if you like? I was gonna go up with Dean on Friday, but his truck was looking kinda full, so I was thinking of driving anyway, bit more room to spread out. You barely fill up a whole seat, so I reckon I can tuck you into my cab.’
She giggled, swatting my arm, but instead of the small rush of fun that I’d always felt from flirting, there was . . . nothing. I could see it, the whole situation. Her in that cute shirt and skirt, hand on my arm as she moved closer, my wariness making her double down on her efforts, just like she used to do.
‘Just you and me?’ she asked, moving her hand down onto the top of my jeans, finger skirting over my belt.
‘Why not,’ I agreed, her smile in response curdling my insides with guilt. The fuck was I doing? Giving her hope now, after all this time, when I had no intention of—
All thoughts gave way to nothing as she reached up, hand on my face, and . . . kissed me. Her lips pressed into me, forming a question, the answer slow as I scrambled to make sense of what was happening. That it wasn’t Hestia.
Hestia.
As if she heard it, Chrissy pulled back.
‘I’ll look forward to it,’ she murmured, putting a finger to her lips.
‘Chrissy,’ I began, needing her to know, not wanting her to think—
‘It’s fine. I know what’s happened,’ she replied, searching my face for a moment, her smile fading to nothing. ‘I know she left and you’re not yourself. Bailey told me as much. But I don’t care. I’m still here, Jesse.’
There was a silence between us, despite the music and the noise of the crowd around us. I could feel how easy this would be, to just fall straight back into whatever we’d had; maybe just let it unfold, even though the balance would never be right between us.
‘I better get these drinks to everyone,’ I said instead, reaching back to the bar, downing the rest of my drink in one. The memory of fireballs flashed right behind my eyes. ‘But I’ll pick you up on Friday. Say, ten?’
She nodded, her nails gently grazing my arm as I stepped away from the bar. I felt the weight of her stare all the way back to the group.
CHAPTER21
HESTIA
Much as I’d somehow managed to walk away from Cal without landing myself in jail as a result, I hadn’t managed to avoid one of the many bars on the way home.
I drank steadily through the afternoon and into the early hours, eventually letting one of the hot women working behind the last bar walk me back after her shift.
‘So . . . can I come up?’ she asked as we stopped outside the hotel doors, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear in a gesture so reminiscent of Jesse that I recoiled.
‘You’re really pretty, but . . . I mean, I don’t actually have a boyfriend, but . . .’ I shook my head, too confused to get the words out.
