‘But what –’ I began, stopping when she rolled her eyes.
‘Just open it,’ she replied, eyes lifting as I heard Luci shuffle to the door behind us, the velvety touch of her muzzle on my arm as she tried to smell the parcel.
‘Well, look at that,’ Bailey mused, shaking her head at Luci as I ripped the tissue open to reveal a T-shirt, a faded charcoal grey. ‘Gentle as a goddamn lamb with you now. She likes you, Hes.’
‘She likes the hand that feeds her,’ I murmured, but reached back to give Luci a gentle scratch on the neck as I unfurled the T-shirt. On the other side, printed in shades of white, pink and green, was the skull design I’d created by the lake a couple of weeks ago. ‘Oh my God, I love it,’ I breathed, barely noticing as Jesse’s shadow fell across us.
‘New line?’ he asked, glancing at me as Dee answered, his eyes quickly assessing my face. We’d fallen back into what seemed to be our pattern since the visit to his mum’s place – withdrawing from each other after moments of intensity, both retreating into our own shadows.
‘Actually, Hestia,’ Dee continued, turning to me, ‘I also wanted to ask you something, now Bailey tells me you’re staying awhile.’ She gestured towards her sleeve tattoo. ‘I’ve been getting this done by a few different artists, people I really admire, each of them adding a different element.’ Her glance up at me was a little sheepish. ‘And I kinda looked your work up after we met, found your studio in London . . . I love your stuff, kinda obsessed with the indigo blossom designs.’
‘You want me to add to the sleeve?’ I guessed as she nodded, biting her lip. I felt Bailey and Jesse’s eyes on me as I reached out for her arm to take a closer look. The existing work was incredible, definitely a mix of styles and techniques, but all together, it worked. I felt the sudden urge to do it, a creative itch in my fingers that I realized hadn’t been there for a while. ‘I’d be honoured,’ I said, smiling as she gave a small squeal of excitement. ‘Did you have something in—’
‘Yes! You really will? I mean, name your price, of course . . . Oh man, this is so cool . . . yeah – your skull, the one on the T-shirt, maybe combined with the blossom?’ Jesse shifted to my right, as though preparing to leave. I caught his soft smile as he turned. ‘We’ve got an open day at the Jackson Collective, it’s a whole bunch of artists and creatives here, in a couple of weeks – maybe we could do it then? We’ve got some spare kit, if you didn’t bring your own.’
We made arrangements while Jesse and Bailey prepped some of the horses. My mind was already buzzing with ideas, ways of integrating my design with her sleeve. As I voiced a couple and was met with wild enthusiasm, I felt a strange sense of cohesion; a tangible snap as this element of my home life slotted right in next to the ranch and to Luci, who was now resting her head against my back.
‘You’re gonna be one busy woman,’ Bailey winked, returning from the tack room with a saddle over her arm. ‘I’m gonna ride out on Buckeye with Dee – do you wanna come? We can take it slow? Penny could do with some exercise. She’s getting mighty lazy since Lil’s been gone. She’s as gentle as they come, though, perfect for a greenhorn like you.’
I considered it for a moment, Dee clocking my hesitation.
‘It’s not as hard as it looks,’ she offered. ‘I know it’s easy for us to say when we’ve done it our whole lives, but you just need to hold on really. Penny’s a sweetheart like Bailey said, she’ll take care of you.’
I turned back to Luci, who was now beginning to nudge me. Smiling, I took a small apple from my pocket and offered it up to her, realizing how much of my initial wariness around horses, around her, had begun to evaporate. If a creature like Luci, previously beaten and broken by people, could learn to trust again, couldn’t I try it?
But as Bailey led Buckeye out of the stall and past us, prancing sideways a little as he checked out Luci and received shit-eye with a side of flattened ears in return, I chickened out.
‘Another time,’ I said, not missing the calculating stare from Jesse, now across the stalls with Penny. ‘If I fall off and fuck up my hand,’ I gestured to her sleeve, ‘I promise you don’t want to try my first left-handed tattoo.’
Dee grimaced.
‘Yeah, okay – deal. But maybe afterwards? Surely one of these guys might give you a lesson or two, start off in the corral, get the hang of it before riding out?’
I shrugged.
‘Sure, maybe.’
I waved them off from the entrance of the barn, laughing as Domino and Buckeye seemed determined to race each other despite Dee and Bailey’s efforts. Eventually, beyond the main gate, as the vast meadow field opened up, the women let them fly. In seconds, they were no more than blurs of colour shrouded in a fine dust.
‘It’s freedom,’ Jesse said, making me jump as I wandered back to Luci’s stall. He came out of the stall, hanging up Penny’s head collar on a hook. She was fully tacked up for riding.
‘What is?’ I asked, forcing myself to keep my distance.
He gestured out towards the meadow.
‘That’s why we love to ride,’ he clarified. ‘The feeling of freedom. Just you and your horse, nothing else to complicate shit.’ I didn’t try to speak into the pause between us, just took him in, steadying myself as my heart threatened to ratchet up a notch. ‘You can be alone but not lonely, if that makes sense.’
He knew it did, after our last conversation in the truck. I had a sense this was his way of reaching out, of making a bridge back between us.
I nodded, not wanting to shut him down.
‘It looks easy, but I’m sure that’s just years of practice,’ I started, stopping as he shook his head, turning back to Penny’s stall and opening the door.
‘You don’t need years,’ he added, disappearing for a moment and then leading her out, approaching me slowly and ignoring the downright satanic expression Luci pulled to my right. ‘How’s about one more favour?’
I raised my eyebrows, unsure where this was going.
‘I know Lottie’s asked you to help with the cookout this weekend, and thing is, the easiest way to get down to the spot we use is to ride. I’m taking some guests out in half an hour, but we could do just five, ten minutes now, in the corral. I’ll show you how to get on, hold on, just walk around a little. What do you think? I swear I won’t let anything happen to your hands.’ He smirked a little, sneaking the quickest glance over the rest of me. ‘Or anything else. Penny is our very best beginner’s horse, not a mean bone in her body.’
