‘All emotional, again. But it means . . . well, you’ve seen what it means,’ she shrugged. ‘She’s been alone, in her own head, for a long time. She let me in, thank fuck, but with men . . . I don’t know.’
I nodded again, raking back my hair and reaching for my hat, checking the time on my phone and realizing I was going to be late.
‘Shit,’ I muttered. ‘Sorry, I’ve got to meet someone, lost track of time . . . Listen, don’t tell her I asked. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. It’s just . . .’ I sighed, knowing how it would sound.
‘It’s okay, I get it,’ Lottie ventured with a small smile full of the natural kindness we’d all come to know and love about her – one of themanyreasons Cole was willing to work to the bone every day on her behalf. ‘You don’t have to explain.’
I gave her a grateful smile, putting on my hat as I stepped back out and walked over to my truck.
Half an hour later, I pulled up outside a small two-storey house on the other side of Jackson, looking out at the surrounding land.
‘Jesse, right?’ The realtor emerged from inside the house as I mounted the steps to the porch, shaking my hand before gesturing to the land. ‘Prime grazing – you thinking of keeping animals?’
I nodded, not wanting to give him any ammo to reinforce his sales pitch.
‘Does this back onto Elk Creek?’ I asked, suddenly realizing I recognized the far ridge, the tree line that eventually rounded the mountainside over towards the Diamond Back.
‘It’s part of it, actually,’ the realtor confirmed. ‘The last person to live here had worked on the main ranch for years. Left it to his daughter, but she’s over in California, so no need for it.’
I nodded, taking a last look at the house as I held out my hand again.
‘Well, I’m sorry to waste your time, in that case,’ I replied. ‘I don’t do business with Elk Creek.’ He hesitated before taking it again, mouth half open. ‘I’d love to say it wasn’t personal, but it is. I’d rather set fire to my money than hand it over to a Sinclair.’
I tipped my hat, taking no small pleasure in his stunned disbelief as I started up the truck and rolled straight back out.
It cushioned the deflated feeling, the one that’d wondered if this was finally the opportunity to start out for myself, finally use all the carefully amassed savings from my bull riding winnings and buy my own place. The hazy, half-assed vision of bringing Mom over to show her, seeing the pride in her face and relief at knowing I was settled, no matter how things turned out with her health . . . It faded away with the daylight that was gradually retreating behind the peaks beyond.
But fuck it – nothing was worth buying from the asshole who’d tried his level best to fuck Lil over, and her mom, Carrie, before her.
I shrugged it off, gunning it back down the highway, somehow not quite ready to go to the ranch. The fact was that property around Jackson was expensive, the holiday rentals and second homeowners long having pushed up prices. There were still Jackson residents willing to only sell to other full-time residents – like the house I’d just visited – but the places were few and far between.
As I approached the Diamond Back turning, I didn’t slow. Instead, with a vague plan to head down and drop in on Jace, my ex-rodeo buddy, I carried on. I pictured telling him the problem, knowing exactly how he’d respond:So quit fucking belly-aching and get back on a bull. Win your way to a bigger choice of places roundhere.
I slowed the truck, pulling off into the opening of a long drive on the right, turning the thought over and over. Could I do it again? Mom was stable now, a system in place, albeit with expensive medication to keep her going. Finally glancing up, I realized the drive was the one that led down to Harebell, the hunting and fishing lodge built by Lottie’s grandfather, still owned by the Diamond Back.
Seconds later, like a starting gun going off in my head, I got out my phone and made the first of two calls, smiling as the first picked up, the sound of a voice I hadn’t heard in over a year.
CHAPTER8
HESTIA
I was still mulling my horse’s name over when Jesse pulled his truck up outside the ranch house. We hadn’t seen much of each other since the sale, but I couldn’t tell whether it was intentional or not, at least on his part. Other than a couple of brief conversations, checking on both me and the horse, he’d spent every spare minute on Lottie’s cabin with Cole, or out with ranch guests.
I began to feel his absence physically, like the low, dull throb of an impending headache. I realized then it was an effort not to notice or wonder why he hadn’t sought me out, to watch out for him wherever I went around the ranch.
So, by myself, I’d made a promise to myself. In the quiet of the barn where I’d now all but taken up residence next to the horses’ stalls, I’d set aside all the shit of my past and forge ahead alone – without fucking it up. Again. This trip was a chance to actually make the most of the break from home that I’d come for.
‘Hey, stranger,’ I said, jumping into the passenger seat, watching as he appraised my outfit. A quiet smile raised one side of his mouth and he tilted his head, blowing out a breath.
‘There are no half-measures with you, huh?’ he chuckled, moving off as I buckled up and put on my sunglasses, the only non-Western coded item on my body.
I’d gone all out. Indigo flared jeans – borrowed from Lottie – a fitted, scoop-neck cream tank top with a faded charcoal grey horseshoe pattern; black cowboy boots; and a stack of silver and turquoise bracelets with matching silver hoop earrings. I’d even got up early – for me – and blow-dried my hair, soft waves now falling across my chest.
I smiled, ignoring the unexpected feeling of nerves in the pit of my stomach.
‘Too much?’ I replied, tucking my red bra strap under the top, noting how his eyes followed my fingers, the way his tightened on the wheel.
‘Always, Jessica,’ he murmured, glancing over again, smile broadening. ‘But that’s why . . .’ He trailed off, looking back out of the windscreen as we approached the end of the drive. Then, his voice low, ‘Don’t ever change, y’hear?’
