‘—the day I was born.’
Ren nodded.Then he drew my hand across his chest, over the sun and the moon.
‘And this… this is me.Dark.A little moody.’
‘You’re not dark, Ren—’
‘Shush,’ he said softly, smiling.‘Not finished.This,’ his fingers brushed the sun, ‘this is you.’
My heart thumped.
‘Me?’
‘Sunshine,’ he said, his gaze lifting to mine, steady, intent, like he needed me to hear this.‘You’ve always been the light I needed.So I thought I’d keep you here.’ He pressed my palm flat against his chest, holding it there.‘Right over my heart.Where you’ve always been, even when I was too much of an idiot to say it.’
His voice was hoarse now.His eyes flicked down, just for a second, then back to mine.He shifted closer.Just a fraction.If I angled my head up, just slightly—
His breath brushed my cheek.My pulse pounded in my throat.His hand tightened around mine, as if he wanted to keep me there.
‘When,’ I managed, ‘when did you get this?’
‘The day before I flew out.Gen squeezed me in.Rushed appointment.’
It was like a bucket of ice-cold water was thrown over me.I stepped back, wrapping my towel around me.
While I’d been spiralling, confused and heartbroken, he’d been inked with secret messages he didn’t have the guts to tell me.He didn’t get to do this – show up with pretty words and art etched across his skin.He didn’t get to tell me that it had been there all along, while I lay in bed alone, reliving whatever I’d done wrong that night.While I agonised over what I should have done differently.
‘Lydia.’
‘It looks good.’ My voice was distant, light.
Just smile, Lydia.
‘Lydia.Talk to me.’
‘I’m a bit cold,’ I gestured to the tent.‘I better—’
‘Lydia, wait.’
I stopped, but refused to turn around.I couldn’t look at those tattoos.
‘We’re going back to Everly Heath,’ Ren said.‘Before the Wales trip.’
‘Yes.’
Mandy gave us a weekend between trips to refuel and rest before we trekked four days across Wales and climbed Snowdon.
Ren said, his voice thick, ‘If… if you were open to it, we could go to Wales together.I’m driving there anyway and I can pick you up.’
I didn’t turn back, as I said, ‘I know you think we’re okay.I know we’ve shared a few laughs.But I’m not there yet.Nowhere near.There is so much—’ my voice cracked.
There is so much I was still angry about, and I couldn’t even put it into words.
‘I know and I’m here if you want to shout or scream at me.I get it—’
I turned, meeting his gaze.
‘Ren.Are you listening to me?I’m not there yet.The more I’m around you, the more I realise that I haven’t processed anything.You leaving, what happened between us.Losing my job.None of it.So you need to stop pushing me.’
