‘We’re so sorry, Lydia.Liam wanted to come,’ Kat said.‘I told him it was girls-only.’
‘I’d like to see him try reformer Pilates,’ Willa said dryly.
I froze.I could almost smell the pine of the machines, the smell of eucalyptus and the soft click of springs.
My happy place, now turned into a reminder of what I’d lost.
I choked out.‘Guys, I appreciate this, but I’m not up for Pilates.’
‘Ha!’ Gen barked.‘Since when did you let us get away with that?’
Kat jabbed a finger.‘I did hungover yoga for you.’
‘And when I cried over that guy with all the snakes—’
‘Fifty snakes,’ Gen and I said solemnly.
‘Fiftysnakes,’ Amy shuddered.‘You picked me up.Made me rage-lift to Taylor Swift, and I forgot all about it.Now it’s our turn.We areyourLydia today.’
I looked around at the expectant faces.All of them were waiting for my enthusiastic ‘Hell, yes!’ and I should be proud.They were preaching what I’d coached into them for the past few years – pure positivity.Look on the bright side of life.Get up and out, and seize the day.But it was one thing practising what I preached when I wanted nothing more than to climb back into my hovel and rot there for a few centuries.
Just smile, Lydia.
I could smile for one day and give my friends what they wanted – a revived Lydia with all the bells and whistles.I stood up straighter, plastered on a smile, and faced them.
‘Okay, let’s go.’ I ignored how my stomach sank.
An hour later we pulled up to the Serenity Rooms, a spa hotel just outside Everly Heath.Then I was stretched out in Pilates, fed a full breakfast in the cafe, massaged within an inch of my life, and now we were all floating around a serene spa pool, even though I felt anything but relaxed.I’d had to explain everything that happened with Casey to a chorus of ‘But you seemed so solid, so secure’, and ‘Her loss’.Now I was quietly torturing myself by imagining her in London – sitting outside an art gallery, sipping coffee across from a girl with no face.I’d always sort of known I wasn’t quite educated enough for Casey.Not cultured.She was a creative, while I was loud, tall, and strong.Sometimes I felt like the barmaid fromShrek.
‘How’s the job hunt going, Lydia?’ Kat’s soft southern voice echoed off the tiles of the spa pool, oblivious to the way the question made my heart pound.
My friends turned towards me with interest.Gen’s eyes snapped to mine from under the waterfall, where the pounding spray beat down on her shoulders.Claire looked up from her book, carefully lounging on the poolside bed to avoid getting her hair wet.Willa sat beside Kat, their feet dangling in the water.Amy rose out of the pool where she’d been floating serenely on her back, the motion sending ripples towards me.
I gulped and drifted towards the deep end, dragging my fingers through the water as if it could anchor me.
‘Good,’ I choked.
The waterfall shut off with a soft clunk.Silence filled the space, save for the gentle drip-drip-drip of water echoing off the tiled walls.Claire’s gaze flicked back to her book, and she turned a page with a delicate swipe.
‘Good,’ Kat repeated, smiling awkwardly, her heart-shaped face tilting in concern.
‘Good is good,’ Willa offered with a nod, her tone light but not quite convincing.
The silence was going to kill me.I hated it.I had to fill every single bit of empty space in a conversation.
‘Okay, fine.It’s a disaster.I haven’t applied for any jobs.I just can’t bring myself to do it.’
‘That’s fine, Lydia,’ Amy said.The youngest in our crew sounded the wisest as she said, ‘It’s been a traumatic experience being dropped at Momentum.It’s okay to take some time off.’
‘Amy’s right.’ Gen said, her voice deep and smooth.‘You need to take some time to think about what you want to do next.When I quit my job to start Everly Ink, I took two months just to think about what I wanted.’
‘Yes!’ Amy said, glee entering her expression.‘You should open your own gym!It would bebrilliant. A women-only gym.’
‘I would be down for that,’ Gen nodded.
‘I would go to the gym more if you ran it, Lydia,’ Kat smiled.‘And I’d happily design a space for you if you wanted.’
‘We do websites at Horizon,’ Willa offered.
