‘Lyd, you can’t be serious.You’re shutting down on me.I know you are.You’re giving me the sunshine act, but you forget I know you—’
‘I’m seeing someone.’
‘Oh—’ Emotions flickered across his face like a flip book.‘That’s good.’
‘It’s going well.Just thought you should know.’
‘Then can we at least be friends?’ Ren asked, morphing into something that looked like desperation.
I gave him a pat on the shoulder, knowing it would hit home.‘Cordial, Ren.Let’s leave it at that.’
Before tears threatened to roll down my cheeks, I headed back into the warmth of my family home and for the next year I ignored Ren’s gaze boring into the side of my face.
‘Sauvignon blanc?’
I almost thought it was him – him offering me the glass of wine, until I looked up to find Josh’s youthful, smiling face.
‘Thanks, Josh!’
Silence fell over the table, and I didn’t know what to say.How could I convince her it was nothing when I couldn’t convince myself?
‘I think I should go.’
I watched as Casey carefully picked up her leather handbag, rising from her seat.She paused next to me, debating how to say goodbye.Then, she planted a kiss on my cheek, her lipstick leaving a mark on my cheek for the last time.
‘You’ll thank me eventually.I know it.’
Chapter Four
Lydia’s Diary, Eight Years Old
Dear Diary,
Lily died today.Ren was picked up from our house.They went to the hospital.
Mum got a phone call and fell on to the kitchen floor.Dad hugged her really tight, but she was still crying.I watched from the dining table, where I was doing my cats-and-dogs puzzle.
Ren wasn’t at school.I kept asking Mum if he could come over.She said he was really sad.I said that was the point but she just smiled in that way grown-ups do.
On Friday, after school, Ren was sitting at our dining table.He looked quieter, and smaller.I ran over and hugged him tight.He let me.Even though it’s a bit weird for boys and girls to hug, he didn’t push me away.We finished my puzzle together, not talking much.Then, we watchedSpy Kidsbecause it’s my favourite, and I told him he looked just like the boy in it.He didn’t say anything, but I think he liked that.
Later, when Dad took him home, I saw him and Ren’s dad hug on the driveway.Grown-up hugs always last longer than kid ones.I think they might have been crying, but I wasn’t sure.
Ren waved at me through the car window before he went back inside his house.I hope he comes over again soon.
Love,
Lydia
Lydia
A burst of light hit my face, hitting my corneas.
‘Wakey, wakey!’
Mum, in her signature Skechers and silk blouse, flung the window wide.A gust of air swept over me and I burrowed under the duvet.
‘Come on.We’re doing things my way now.’
