I should have at least consulted him, but he was barely in the periphery of my decision-making as the third body that needed to fit on the bed. If I had at least told Gael, then I could tell Phin that we planned this together, butobviouslyI didn’t. I did this specifically for Phin, and people don’t buy custom furniturefor people they don’t have a connection to. It’s going to be so obvious that my heart has betrayed their relationship.
For a smart guy, I can be pretty stupid sometimes.
“Sin!”
Here I am, living up to my name. It feels like I’m walking to my doom as I make my way to the bedroom. Phin stands about three steps into the bedroom staring at the massive bed. I don’t see the shock on his face until I come abreast of him. He’s pale, but he’s always pale. I don’t think he’s more pale than usual, but it takes every ounce of courage in me to get words to work.
“Surprise,” I say lamely, trying and failing to hide the anxiety in my voice.
“You did this for me?” he rasps, wide-eyed.
“Yeah.” I don’t know what else to say. I really don’t want him to see through me if he hasn’t already.
“This is amazing.” He doesn’t turn to me as he speaks, he merely stares at the bed agog. “Thank you.”
After another brief moment, he walks to the bed and sits on it. His face breaks out into a happy smile that makes my heart skip a beat, and he lays down, allowing his wet towel to go slightly askew. I note with not a small amount of satisfaction that there’s plenty of room between his head and the headboard and his feet and the end of the bed.
“You fit perfectly,” I murmur as my anxiety melts away, replaced by a warmth that I’ve only ever felt when I’ve done something that pleases Gael.
His eyes find mine and he smirks at me. “Does this mean you’ve finally decided to let me stick around?”
My laugh sounds just as nervous as I feel being asked that question. “When have I ever said I didn’t want you around?”
He sits up and moves back to lean against the headboard, adjusting his towel and crossing his legs in front of him, leaving him completely exposed to me under the gape of the towel. “Sin,when did you order this bed? It doesn’t look like it comes from a shop floor.”
My cheeks slowly heat with the evidence of my shame. I can’t look at him as I reply, “It takes a few months for the guy to make the furniture.”
Phin’s rumbling growl reverberates through the room. “Did Gael make you buy this bed?”
He’s going to figure me out without me having to say a damn thing.
I shake my head, staring at the wall even though I know it won’t help me hide my betrayal. “He doesn’t know about it.”
“Look at me,” he requests so softly, my eyes are drawn straight to him. He’s beautiful as always, and his gray eyes are filled with something that I can’t bear to see. “Do you love me, Sin?”
Like a spear those words pierce my heart, and defensively, I turn away from him. “You belong to Gael. He’s the one who loves you.”
Phin blows out a huff. “And I love him too, but we’re not talking about him right now. We’re talking about us.”
“Us? There can’t be an ‘us.’ Gaelshareshis favorite things. He doesn’t give them away. I’m just taking care of you until he gets back.” I have to hide my heart. I have to hide away my love, because I’m not allowed to have these feelings. I shouldn’t have bought the bed. I shouldn’t have done something so recklessly stupid. Of course he’s going to see right through me if I buy furniture designed with him in mind.
“Gael shares his favorite things, but I don’t think you really understand what that means.” Phin sounds… irritated maybe? Or maybe frustrated, like the nail he was hammering just bent in half. Whatever it is, it brings my gaze back to him. He furrows his brow at me as something deeply wild flashes in his eyes and on his face, like there’s a part of him that I haven’t discoveredyet that isn’t as submissive and pliant as the Phin Gael loves—the man I love—is. “On our first date, Gael wouldn’t shut up about you. I thought that I’d mistakenly thought we were on a date—even though there was plenty of evidence to the contrary—because he already had a man in his life.”
I can’t help but snort at that. “Gael and I are not like that. We’re just friends.”
Phin ignores me and keeps talking. “And then that date turned into a whole weekend of us getting to know each other, and I realized at some point that even though his life is inextricably intertwined with some other guy’s, he really did like me. He liked me enough that he constantly texted me and called to chat when we couldn’t meet up. Do you know what he said after you and I met that first time? Can you even guess the words that came out of his mouth? Because to me the words are obvious, but I think if I gave you a hundred guesses you’d miss every time.”
The frustration on his face is so foreign. I’ve seen his reluctance, and his ambivalence, I’ve seen him in the throes of passion, and more recently, I’ve known his friendship and affection, but this side of him is new. It looks strange on him, like he’s a man who could explode out of his own skin at any moment, and even though I see how easily he could crush me, I know he never would. He’s upset at me and frowning with an annoyed look on his face, but Phin is soft-hearted, and he would never hurt me.
“Guess what he said to me, Sin.”
“You said I couldn’t. I don’t want to play a losing game.” I also can’t imagine what Gael said to Phin. I know what he said to me:I hope you like Phin.
“He said, ‘I hope you can get along with Sin. He’s my favorite.’”
“What?” The word escapes me as a bark of disbelief. I’m as taken aback as I am shocked. “He saidIwas his favorite?”
“And Gael shares all his favorite things, doesn’t he? Who do you think he’s sharing his favorite Sin with?” He stares at me expectantly, trapping me in place with that look.
