She stops swinging again, and looks at the mostly mush remains of Jimmy’s face. “Hard to explain carrying a hand ax to the human authorities,” she points out. “Plus, this is his bat anyway. I left mine in my shopping cart on the street.”
“It’s going to get stolen.” Don’t leave anything you want to come back to on the sidewalk in this city.
She giggles with wicked glee. “I’ll have fun getting it back.”
I laugh with her; she always sees the silver linings. “Do you know how to call for the gargoyles? If not, Darcy will be back later and he’ll do it for me.”
In reply, she goes to the window, opens it up, and hollers, “Any gargoyles want a snack?”
As soon as she pulls back inside two gargoyles appear for a brief moment, then they and the body and all the mess disappear.
I blow out a sigh of relief. “I just mopped in here and I didn’t want to have to do it again,” I explain, returning to the table to grab my container of curry again. It’s almost gone, but I’m not wasting the four bites left in there.
She rejoins me at the table and we spend the rest of the afternoon playing Skip Bo and catching up. I didn’t realize how much I missed her until now, and it’s nice that no one has to murder her for going crazy about the company I keep. Plus, she promises to bring me more plants next week.
12
Sam jumps up at the end of our game, slams back the rest of her water, and offers me a high five. “See ya, El. I’m off to change the world!”
I give her a high five and watch her walk out my front door. She’s cool, and it was great refreshing that friendship. Apparently she’s a demon from Hell, and she thought it was amazing I survived my adventure there. I let her know it was Darcy who did most of the work for that, but she was still impressed by me.
As she hits the button for the elevator, the doors open and Darcy walks out. Sam offers him knuckles, and he bumps her fist as they pass each other. I wait for him in my doorway, and this angel of a man greets me with another tumbler of what smells like pecan coffee. I could kiss him.
Oooh. Dammit. I didn’t have time for a good wash out. “Hey, I need like half an hour in the bathroom before you fuck me. I didn’t really have—”
“Who the fuck did Samantha kill?” he demands, staring at the spot where Jimmy met his end.
“Oh, I forgot to lock the door when Sam got here and she ended up killing a guy I went on one date with. You know,it’s kinda weird how my exes are coming out of the woodwork. Although I don’t think Jimmy is an ex. We didn’t even hook up; I wasn’t interested in a rebound after Stalker Steve, and Jimmy really only wanted someone to fuck him. I’m not exactly adedicatedbottom, but I would be if I ever found a dedicated top, ya know? Anyway, Sam took care of it and the gargoyles ate him, and I still need a shower. You good to wait?”
Darcy huffs, eyes blazing with irritation. “How many exes do you have?”
What a ridiculous question. “I’ve been on a lot of dates, but I've only had a few partners or boyfriends. Sam was a girlfriend for a hot minute, but it turns out I’m gay, so it didn’t work out. She’s still just as wonderful as she was when we were dating though.”
“She murdered someone in your apartment.” He points that out like it’s an argument against her wonderfulness.
“I’m about to go wash my ass out so you can fuck me good and proper, and you murdered someone in my apartment too. I don’t think you have much room to judge.”
Darcy snorts. “I'm not judging. I’m just questioning your ability to character assess.”
“Pfft. I’m an excellent judge of character, and like I said: I’m just not worried about things that aren’t in my control. Sam decapitating a guy with a baseball bat isn’t something within my control. Sam does what Sam wants to do, you know. I love that about her, and if I tried to stop her, she’d shove my own foot so far up my ass I’d have to have it surgically removed, and I want to have the use of my ass for pleasure for the rest of my life, so I’m never going to be the guy who gets between her and a murder spree if that’s what she wants. I’m the guy who helps dump the bodies in the river when she’s done.”
Affection lines the surprised laugh that spills from Darcy. “You realize that the exes popping out of the woodwork isbecause of your little adventure with the flink, right? It’s magic drawing them here.”
“That would explain why Sam decided to come for a visit. It’s been a few years since we were in the same place. Speaking of... Do you think you could do anything about putting a moratorium on bounties on her? She's doing good work, and I don’t think she deserves to always have someone gunning for her.”
Darcy considers that for a moment and pulls out his knife. “Go shower. I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thanks.”
I take myself to my bedroom and grab some going out clothes before heading to the bathroom. It’s a PITA to take my prosthetic off and then put it back on again, but I’m very sex-motivated, so I do all the things I need to do for a great night of getting railed by a dick worthy of my delicious ass. I redress in my best shirt and pants, but I don’t bother buttoning up because I’m literally going to walk out there, get on my knees on the couch with my ass on display, and let him have his way with me until we’re both making messes I have no intention of having the energy to clean up. Why bother buttoning up for that?
I did put on my favorite pair of underoos. I’m a movie guy, not a comic book guy, and I usually have more of a Marvel vibe than a DC vibe, but my favorite pair of underoos is Green Lantern. I look really good in green, and these make my package pop. I like that. It makes me feel sexy.
When I walk back out to the living room, Darcy’s there, reading a book I’m pretty sure the house sitter left behind. I don’t remember buying or borrowingOn The 2by Felice Stevens. Looks interesting though. “What’s it about?”
Darcy looks up from the book, eyeing my open shirt. “Grumpy guy meets sunshine guy on the train they take to work every morning. That’s all I know so far. Why did you put on pants when I’m just going to take them off?”
I grin sliding my hand into the front of my pants, cupping my quickly swelling dick. “I figured you’re taking me out afterward, so I didn’t really need to leave them in the bathroom.”
