“Yeah,” he says gruffly.
"Liar."
He glances at me, the corners of his mouth tugging into a small smile."Can't hide anything from you."
“No you can’t, so talk to me."
He's quiet for a long moment."Warren called me Daddy last night and again today."
The words land soft, but I hear the weight underneath them.
"I know.I was there."
"I don't know what to do with that."
"What do you mean?"
He turns to face me properly."I mean I haven't earned that.I haven’t been around long enough.I'm not his father, biologically or legally, in any way that matters."
"You are in the way that matters most.You're here, you’re a safe place for him.You're choosing him every day."
"But what if he changes his mind?What if he realizes I'm not good enough.What if I fuck it up?"
My chest aches.“Devin, look at me."
He does, those beautiful eyes of his dark with doubt and fear.
"Warren called you Daddy because that's what you are to him.Not because I told him to.Not because he's confused.But because you make him feel safe and loved and protected.That's what fathers do."
"I've only been here a few weeks."
"And in those weeks, you've been more of a father than Declan ever was in five years."I take his hand."I'm not saying you have to claim that title right now.I'm not saying anything has to change.But if Warren chooses you, all you have to do is meet him with love.That's it.That's all he needs."
"What if I don't know how?"
"Then you learn.Same as I'm learning how to let someone be part of our lives.Same as Warren's learning what safety feels like.We're all figuring this out together."
He stares at our joined hands."I want to be his dad.Someday.If he wants that, if you want that.I want all of it."
Tears spring to my eyes."Yeah?"
"Yeah.I want to be the one he calls when he's scared, or excited, or just if he needs someone.I want to teach him things.Protect him.I want to watch him grow up.I want everything."
I can't speak.My throat is too tight.I just nod and let the tears fall.
He reaches up and wipes them away with his thumb."I'm terrified I'll fuck it up."
"You won't."
He pulls me close and kisses me.Not desperate.Not demanding.Just tender and full of promise and love and everything we're building.
"I love you, so fucking much,” he says after he pulls back.
"I love you too."
Devin's hand moves to my face, traces my jaw, then my lips, almost as though he’s trying to memorize me.
"Come here," he murmurs.
