"Can we go for a ride?"
"Not today.But maybe someday.When you're bigger.And if your mam says it's okay."
"Will you still be here when I'm bigger?"
The question stops me.Because he's not just asking about the bike.He's asking about me.About whether I'm staying.About whether he can trust me to be there.
I look at Enya.She's watching.Waiting.
I look back at Warren."Yeah.I'll still be here."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
He smiles, gap-toothed and genuine and trusting.
And something in my chest cracks open.Makes room.For this kid.For this family.For this life I didn't know I wanted.
"Come on," Enya says softly."Let's get you inside.It's getting cold."
I lift Warren down.He takes Enya's hand.Then, without warning, he reaches for mine too.
Small hand in mine.Trusting.Accepting.
We walk back inside together.The three of us.
And I think maybe, just maybe, this is going to work.
20
ENYA
Ican't stop watching them.
Devin and Warren are sitting on the floor of my small sitting room surrounded by dinosaur toys.Warren explains the difference between a Tyrannosaurus and an Allosaurus with so much exuberance while Devin listens intently, asking questions, and taking it all in.
My chest aches.
This is what I left Declan for.This right here.The possibility of safety.Of someone who doesn't make my son flinch.Someone who gets down on his level and lets him lead.
Devin's careful.He asks before he touches anything and waits for Warren to hand him the toys instead of reaching.He gives him space and attention in equal measure.
It's everything Declan never was.
"Mam?"Warren's voice pulls me back."Can Devin stay for dinner?"
I look at Devin.He's already looking at me, waiting for me to decide.
"Of course he can," I say."If he wants to."
"I want to," Devin says quietly.
Warren beams."Can we have fish fingers?"
"Fish fingers it is."
I move to the kitchen, where I can still hear Warren chattering away to Devin, asking about his bike, about the club and whether Devin's brothers are like cousins.
