Devin answers each question simply and honestly, all the while being age appropriate.
"They're like family," he says."Brothers who look out for each other."
"Do they have bikes too?"
"Yeah.All of them."
"That's so cool."
I smile despite the emotion building in my throat.I pull fish fingers from the freezer.Chips.Peas.Normal family dinner.Nothing fancy.
Because there's a man at my table who my son isn't afraid of, who I'm not afraid of.Who's choosing to be here not because he has to but because he wants to.
It's overwhelming.
Devin appears in the doorway."Need help?"
"I'm grand.But you can set the table if you want.Plates are in that cupboard."
He moves around me, careful not to crowd me as he gets plates, cutlery, and glasses.He sets the small table like he's done this a hundred times.
Warren climbs onto his chair, legs swinging."Can I have juice?"
"Please," I correct gently.
"Can I have juice, please?"
"Of course you can, love."
I pour juice and then serve dinner.We sit and it’s comfortable, easy, and I feel relaxed, much more than I thought I would.
It's perfect.
Warren talks non-stop through dinner.About school and his friend James who has a new football.About the dinosaur documentary he watched at his auntie’s.
Devin listens and responds by asking questions that make Warren light up.
I eat slowly, just watching.I’m trying to memorize this.How normal it is.I love how peaceful it is, and that I don’t feel any fear.
"Mam?"Warren's looking at me."You okay?"
I blink and realize I've been staring."Yeah, love.Just happy you're home."
"I'm happy too."He grins, then looks at Devin."Are you happy?"
Devin's quiet for a second.When he responds, Devin’s voice is a little thick.“Yeah.I'm happy."
Warren nods, seemingly satisfied, and goes back to his dinner.
But Devin's looking at me now with a soft expression.My chest tightens and warms at that look.
After dinner, Warren wants to show Devin his room and his toys, books, and the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling.
I follow them down the hallway, watching as Warren points everything out excitedly.
Devin kneels beside the bed and looks up at the stars."These are class."
“Gran got them for me.They're the real constellations."
