What if she's scared of me?
What if I walk in there and she looks at me with fear instead of relief?
I can't.I can't face that.
But I have to.
Because she's in there.Waiting.And I promised I'd come back.
I take a breath.Another.Force my hand to turn the handle.
And step inside.
18
ENYA
Ican't stop staring at the door.
I’ve been staring at it for what feels like hours.Maybe it has been hours.I don't know.I lost track of time somewhere between panic and more panic.
The Old Ladies are still here, talking quietly around me, trying to distract me.But I can't focus.Can't hear them properly.It’s just noise that washes over me while my brain screams.
What if he doesn't come back?
What if Declan hurts him?
What if I never see him again?
My tea's gone cold in my hands.I don't remember anyone giving it to me.Don't remember drinking any.I just know it's there, mug clutched so tight my knuckles are white.
"Enya?"Caoimhe's voice.Soft.Gentle."You alright, hon?"
"Yeah."The lie tastes bitter."Just waiting."
"He'll be back," Chloe says from across the room.Confident.Like she knows."They always come back."
But what if this time is different?What if Declan's worse than they thought?What if Devin's lying somewhere bleeding and I'm sitting here drinking fucking tea?
I check my phone again.Nothing.No messages.No calls.Just the time mocking me.How long has he been gone?Too long.Way too long.
"He doesn't have his phone," Mallory reminds me gently."So you won't hear from him until he's back."
I know that.Rationally, I know that.But rationality left the building about an hour ago.
"I'm scared," I whisper.I don't mean to say it out loud but it comes out anyway."I'm scared he won't come back."
Ailbhe moves to sit beside me and wraps an arm around my shoulders."I know, love.But these men...they're survivors.They know what they're doing."
"But Declan's?—"
"Declan's one man," Gráinne says firmly."Tank's got four brothers with him.Including Pyro.No one gets past Pyro."
I want to believe them.Want to trust that Tank's safe.That he'll walk back through that door any minute.
But fear's a living thing inside me.Clawing.Consuming.
I set the mug down on the table before I drop it.My hands are shaking too badly to hold anything.
