And Sadie? She stayed out of the limelight. She declined appearances on famous morning shows and celebrity gossip shows. She preferred to just finish out her college degree in peace before settling back down in Indigo Falls.
There were, of course, pictures comparing Sadie and Aubrey all over the internet. I was always mentioned in the post as being the stupidest man to walk the face of the earth. I knew they were right, and my over-inflated ego shrunk back down to size.
The months rolled by. Life hadn’t gotten much better at the fraternity house, and I knew I would end my association with them at the end of the school year. I would have left Carruthers altogether if it weren’t for the expert physical therapy I still received from the athletic department because my injury happened on the field.
And, of course, my full ride scholarship.
My parents were well off. They could pay for me to transfer schools and finish out college somewhere else. Still, there was no way I was going to have them pay thousands of dollars for something I could get for free. And there was a part of me—a large part—that felt like I deserved the hate I was getting on campus.
Chapter Twenty
Harrison
“Honey, I know you’re upset, but don’t you think it would be good to get outside?”
My parents were worried, and I didn’t blame them. I’d graduated over a month ago, but I’d barely done anything but sleep and wallow in self-pity and shame since then.
The one time I’d gone to the grocery store for Mom, I’d had one of my former Sunday school teachers call me a ‘depraved pervert.’ Then the woman at the checkout was wearing a #TeamSadie shirt. I’d felt like everyone was looking at me… and they were. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that the whole town of Indigo Falls—the same town who’d loved me when I’d been a possible Heisman candidate—hated me. They were all firmly on Sadie’s side. And why wouldn’t they be? There was nothing about me to support. After that, I’d made up excuses to stay in.
I rolled over and looked out the window. I ignored what she’d asked me. “Do you remember when I broke my leg in high school?”
“Of course.” She sounded hesitant, like she wasn’t sure where I was going with this.
“Do you remember how Sadie would come sit with me?” I turned to look at her. “She brought me cupcakes and brownies. She sat and talked to me for hours. She read to me. She kept me up to date on all our subjects in school.”
Mom smiled. It was a sad smile. “She came every day.”
“I really screwed up, didn’t I?”
She was quiet for a moment, maybe not wanting to kick me while I was down. “Yes, honey, you really did.” She walked over and stared out the window by my bed, arms crossed over her chest. “You know, I always thought you and Sadie would end up together. But I guess it’s good that you’ve learned your lesson. All actions have consequences.”
I closed my eyes. “You don’t think she’ll ever take me back?”
“No.”
Well, that was blunt. “I was thinking I could go see her. I’d give her a real apology and…”
“No,” she said again, shaking her head. “Absolutely not. That girl was broken when she came home. You are not to bother her anymore. If you want to apologize, you can send one letter. That’s it. If she wants to talk to you, she knows where to find you.”
I swallowed hard, thinking of how Candy had walked out of my hospital room as soon as the doctors said I wouldn’t have an NFL career.
Sadie had been the real deal. And I’d let her slip through my fingers. No, worse than that. I’d stomped all over her precious heart.
Because I was an asshole and thought I deserved to have lots of meaningless sex since I was a football star.
Mom sat on the edge of my bed and patted my arm. “I think you need to see someone.”
I gave her a mystified look. “You want me to start dating?”
She chuckled. “No. I want you to go to see a therapist. I have a couple of good names for people in Halliwell. You could ride over with your dad for a while.”
Dad’s car dealership was in Halliwell. I’d be joining him soon to help run it. I just… hadn’t had the energy lately.
I thought about arguing with Mom. But it wasn’t a bad idea to see a therapist.
***
I sat on the couch in the waiting room of the therapist’s office. I was horribly nervous. What if he hated me just like everyone else did?
