“You mean he won’t be in the NFL?” Candy asked, looking as if she might be sick.
“In my opinion, he’ll be lucky to play football in the backyard. There’s no way he’ll play at a professional level.”
“So that’s a no?” Candy stood up.
“That’s a no,” the doctor nodded.
I barely registered Candy’s look of horror as I tried to process what the doctor was saying. Since early on in my high school football career, I had planned to play football at the professional level. I didn’t have a backup plan. I wasn’t able to comprehend life without football. I looked at my parents. “Mom? Dad? This can’t be true, right?”
Dad came over and put his hand on my shoulder. “Your leg was broken in three places. They had to put a steel rod in just to be able to repair the damage. And it’s the same leg you broke in high school. We can get another opinion, or ten other opinions, but I think the doctor’s right. I’m so sorry.”
Mom started crying softly and collapsed into the nearest chair.
I felt strangely calm, almost as if I was watching all of this happen from somewhere outside my body.
“You’re going to need a lot of help when you first go home,” the doctor had said. “I would urge you to take a leave of absence from school and go home where your parents can take care of you. You can start physical therapy at home, then continue it at Carruthers once you return to school.”
“Oh, I don’t think that’s necessary,” I’d said, foolishly. I’d looked at Candy, not comprehending that she’d turned an odd shade of green. “I can go back to school now. Candy can help me.”
I had been remembering the time in high school when I’d broken this leg the first time. Sadie had been amazing. She’d come over every day after school to give my mom a break from
looking after me. She’d read to me, cooked and cleaned, helped me to and from the restroom—whatever I’d needed. Then whenI got back to school, she’d helped carry my things around until I got used to the crutches. I didn’t realize how rare that was until Candy’s reaction.
“Me?” she’d almost shrieked. “You wantmeto help you?” She made a face. “Like, with what?”
The doctor had described, in detail, the kinds of things I wouldn’t be able to do on my own for a while. She’d laughed. She’d actually laughed.
“Oh, no. There’s no way I can do any of that. You’re going to need your parents. I, um, probably need to get out of here anyway. I’ve got class, you know? I should get back to campus.”
I had frowned, thinking that she’d never shown a huge interest in class before. A few days later, when my parents went to clear out my things from the frat house and bring them home, they’d reported that none of Candy’s things had been there.
I’d found out about a month later that she was dating Carruthers’ star running back. She’d never officially broken up with me or even said goodbye. She was just… gone.
It further solidified what an absolute idiot I had been when it came to Sadie.
My parents weren’t exactly surprised, either. “Good riddance,” my mother had said. “I hate to rub salt in your wounds, dear, but you made a very poor choice in dating that girl.”
“I still can’t believe you let Sadie get away,” my dad had said.
“Yeah,” I’d said, looking out my bedroom window. “Me neither.”
Chapter Nineteen
Harrison
A few months later, I was doing well enough to head back to school and start the next semester. I was glad not to be behind in coursework, since I’d been able to complete my fall semester classes online.
Being back on campus felt amazing. It was like I’d worked hard for something and finally achieved it, which I guess I had. I was still walking with a limp and working with the campus rehab facility to try to minimize it or make it go away entirely. I also had a background hope that maybe, somehow, I’d still be able to play ball. No one was encouraging me in that direction, so maybe I was being delusional. I still had to try.
I expected everything to continue on like it had before I was hurt. It was strange, though. I realized that even though it had seemed like I had about a million friends, those relationships had been shallow, surface-level. Anyone I’d really hung out with before was… gone. Drake, Melinda, and Blair had transferred to UGA along with Sadie. I couldn’t eat in the athlete’s dining hall anymore, so eating with any of the guys from the football team was out.
The guys in my fraternity acted like they barely knew me. Hell, maybe that was true. They’d treated me like a living legend before the injury, but I realized I hadn’t gotten to know anyone on a personal level. Several guys still thought the sex videos thathad ruined my life were ‘cool.’ When I set them straight, it was pretty clear they didn’t want to hang out with me.
People asked me about Aubrey all the time. I hated it. She’d apparently gotten kicked off the cheerleading squad in Atlanta for sleeping with a married player.
I couldn’t believe I’d thrown away my relationship with Sadie for someone like her.
Sadie. I found myself looking for her everywhere, even though I knew she no longer at Carruthers. I’d driven her away with my abhorrent behavior, and I was still trying to come to terms with that. I wanted to fix it, but I didn’t know how. The way things stood, I doubted she’d ever talk to me again.
