But the bad stretch took its sweet time passing.
I was just shy of having a mental breakdown by the time fall semester was over. I took spring and summer semesters off from college. I started seeing a therapist and learned I had developed generalized anxiety disorder. I wasn’t sure if I’d always had it, or if all the drama with Harrison triggered it, or what. A doctor put me on medicine for it, and after a few weeks I could tell it was helping. It was also nice to be back home where people cared for me. I drove my younger siblings around and bonded with my family. That was good for all of us.
Life slowly started to get better. The whole town supported me, not Harrison, and I was incredibly grateful for that. I tried out for cheerleading at a couple of colleges and was offered a spot on both squads. I had my choice.
And when the fall rolled back around, I had enrolled at The University of Georgia, having gotten a full scholarship for cheerleading. Melinda, Drake, Blair, and Scott transferred there as well. Besides Harrison, only Carrie was still at Carruthers. She still had her cheer scholarship and had started dating a guy there named Thatcher. She was happy but made the trip to come see us at UGA fairly often.
I was doing better, and I tried to tell myself that Harrison didn’t matter. I heard through the grapevine that he had dated seemingly every female on campus after I left. Then he’d started dating the reigning Miss Georgia. Melinda loved to point out that she looked like a taller, less beautiful version of me. I wasn’t sure I agreed with that, but even I could see that she looked an awful lot like me.
They were all over social media together, and she appeared in several interviews with him, including one he did for College Gameday on ESPN. He hadn’t won the Heisman his sophomore year, probably because of the sex scandal, but he was considered a favorite at the start of his junior season.
I did my best to put him out of my mind. I dated some, but nothing ever stuck. My heart just wasn’t in it.
But I was safe, I was happy, and I wasn’t dating someone who wanted to cheat on me anymore. Those were all good things.
I was grateful.
When Carruthers came to UGA to face off, I wasn’t excited in the slightest. I pretended not to know Harrison at all. It’s not like he came looking for me anyway.
I cheered just like it was any other game.
Harrison, of course, was having the best game of his season so far, which was saying a lot. Every game that season was great for him.
But that all came to an end when he was sacked hard in the fourth quarter. Everyone heard the crack of his leg breaking all over the stadium, even over the sound of the crowd noise. A lot of people thought it was a gunshot at first, and that Harrison had been shot. His screams of pain were gut wrenching, and there was chaos around the stadium until people realized it wasn’t an active shooter situation. A sideline reporter quickly cleared things up, letting as many people as possible know that he had a leg injury.
Not thinking, I almost started to run onto the field to help. It was like everything bad that happened between us was erased from my mind. He was hurt, he needed me, and I was heading there fast. But thankfully one of my friends grabbed hold of me before I made it onto the field.
“I know he’s hurt, but you shouldn’t go help him. Not after what he did to you.”
She was right, of course. It was just terrible to hear him screaming and for me to do nothing about it.
I saw his girlfriend standing on the sidelines looking distraught. Harrison’s parents were with her, and I found myself wondering how much they liked her. They’d always told me they thought of me like a daughter, but I’d heard nothing from them after the break-up. Maybe they were embarrassed their son starred in sex tapes that were all over the internet, or maybe they’d never liked me that much after all.
We all stood around as we waited for an ambulance to drive onto the field and him to be carried away. His girlfriend made a big production of being the one to ride with him, practically knocking his mother down in the process. I had the unkind thought that it was probably just so she could get on TV. But who knows? Maybe she really did love him.
I had the feeling that what she loved about him was his potential to make a ton of money in the NFL. That seemed to be the type of girl he was with these days.
After he was taken away, sirens blaring, the game continued. But it wasn’t the same. A sense of dread seemed to hang over the stadium. UGA won; the backup quarterback for Carruthers was terrible. But no one liked to see a player in pain or terribly injured. Both UGA fans and Carruthers fans were very subdued.
Even though I wasn’t with Harrison anymore, I hoped he would be okay. I might hate the person he’d turned into, but I didn’t wish him ill.
Chapter Eighteen
Harrison
When I woke up after the surgery to fix my leg, the doctor talked a lot about rehab and new treatments and therapies that could help me. But he didn’t say anything about football. I exchanged a nervous glance with my dad. Dad, Mom, and Candy, my girlfriend, were in the room with me. Candy looked a little bored and was examining her manicure, but Dad and Mom were being very supportive, of course.
“When can I play football again? Or at least get back to practice?”
The doctor winced. He literally winced. “Harrison, I don’t like being the one to have to tell you this. But your days of playing football are behind you.”
My mouth opened to say something, but no sound came out.
“You can’t be serious,” Dad said. “You mean he’s done for the season, right?”
The doctor shook his head. “You’re welcome to get other opinions, but my personal assessment is that your football career is completely over. Son, you’ll be lucky to walk without a limp even after all the therapy and rehab you’re going to have to go through.”
We all stared at him.
