“I miss him, Ma. I can’t fix what happened, but you also can’t keep me from him. Courtland’s the only person that understands me. And one day you’ll see that you’ve made a mistake keeping your own son away. One day, you’ll need him.”
He stomped away down the hall. I listened as his footsteps faded then his door slammed, shaking the house, moving pictures. I jumped at the impact.
My chest ached.
“I failed one son. I refuse to lose another.”
This was Courtland all over again, except Maleek was grieving someone alive.
Exiting my job, I saw Courtland and got annoyed. I’ve been ignoring his pop ups, gifts stacked at the door, the messages and everything else, but he wasn’t hearing it. I couldn’t be with someone as crazy as him. That altercation with Michael was the reality of how different we were.
He pushed away from his Benz.
“Damn baby, you ain’t gon’ say shit to me?” he called out to me as I tried speeding by.
He grabbed my arm gently. I glared at his hand like shit on my shoe. He felt the tension and dropped his hand.
“What, Courtland?”
He looked so good in his cream Fear of God tee, tailored jeans with the black leather belt, lightly swagging. All-white 1s, Cartier, solid Cuban link with his thin rope with the cross,diamond pinky ring, fresh line-up, moisturized skin and lips. Cologne whisking through the air.
“Damn, I’m Courtland now?”
He almost had me.
Clearing my throat. “Ain’t that what your mama named you?”
The darkness in his eyes and draw back from me told me I hit a sore spot. I knew the relationship amongst his family and should’ve thought about my words but shit, I’m angry with his ass so he’s going to have to deal with it.
“What do you want?”
“I want you, but you actin’ like you don’t fuck with a nigga.”
“And why should I after that shit you pulled?”
“I’m gon’ bleed a nigga every time behind you, E. You gave me that pussy, fuck you thought? I don’t know why you setting mothafuckas up.”
“We’re not together, Rayzor. I still date. I’m not saying that shit when you got bitches with you.”
“Ain’t nobody worried ‘bout them hoes. I’m ‘round here sniffing yo’ pussy and can’t sleep because you not with me. Fuck that tells you, E?”
“That I got some good pussy and keep attracting ain’t shit ass men. Bye, Rayzor.”
I tried walking away and thought he was going to follow me. With each step I took felt a pull, but I had to stand strong. Rayzor had that effect on me that’s hard to beat. It grew every day when I’ve tried stopping it.
“Shit, I can’t cap you down, baby. You got that shit that got me outchea playing stepdaddy to the kids. Own that shit.”
I giggled against my will.
He pulled me into him. “I miss that smile, baby. That’s all I’m trying to do is make you smile.”
“And you can do that without all the extra.”
He tilted his head with that sexy smirk. “Sometimes a nigga like extra.”
I rolled my eyes, trying to mask my smile.
“Let me make it up to you.”
