“I’ll grab us something to eat along the way.”
I let him find his station, and he started rapping the lyrics. He tried to be the coolest lil’ nigga around me, but I knew he was happy. That’s Leek’s persona since birth. He couldn’t hide it.
“I miss him even though I don’t know him.”
His words hit me in the chest.
“You would’ve loved ‘em, man.”
“I know I would.”
Maleek missed out on a great man, but I try to keep his memory alive so neither of us forget. Pops wasn’t rich with bread, but he was rich with dreams and love. Everyone loved and respected him. I wanted to be like him when I grew up. Took my own path just to follow the dream I buried.
I stopped and grabbed us something to eat before heading to the crib.
As soon as Maleek stepped in the door, he kicked everything off and ran to the living room, turning on the game. I wasn’t a gamer like I used to be but kept it around for him. It doesn’t matter how often we see each other, he’ll always have a spot with me. He got his own room. Hopefully, one day it’ll be a permanent situation to him always coming over, but for now, we’ll keep doing this hide-and-seek shit because of Ma.
After making our plates, I joined him on the couch, and he tossed me a controller.
I set the plates down and got on.
We started off in silence. He was hyped to be playing online with friends and could pop his shit without getting fussed at. I always wanted him to feel like he could be himself. It’s pressure for him at the crib with Ma because she wanted him to be nothing like me and Pops, so she stripped him of anything that resembles it.
“Do you wish you were at home with me and mama?” he pressed, pressing buttons on the controller, leaning over left to right, concentrating on the game.
“Not home, but wish shit was different.”
“She misses you but don’t know how to tell you.”
I did a double take not knowing how to respond because that shit could open a can of worms. I didn’t want him thinking that shit would go back to normal because this was as normal as it’ll get.
“Nah.”
“She does. I hear her praying for you all the time when she thinks I’m asleep,” he said, clueless that I was now looking at him. “And she got a picture of you inside her bible that she keeps in the nightstand. One of you and dad.”
That hit heavy in the chest but what could I do with that? It doesn’t change shit because she won’t allow shit to change. I stilllove him but I know the love she has for me isn’t how a mother’s love is supposed to go.
“Stop snooping in folks’ shit, Leek. I don’t want you getting in trouble.”
“I’m not.”
“Everything good with you though? What them grades looking like?”
“Yeah, everything’s good. I think I got another girlfriend.”
I chuckled. “Another?”
“Yeah. I can’t tell yet. But this girl, she be buying me snacks and shi…” he corrected himself. “Stuff from the snack man and telling people we’re together. She’s cute, but I got to keep my options open.”
“You’re too young for a girl, but if you got one, keep one. Not multiple. That’s how you get caught up.”
“You ever got caught up?”
“Too playa for that.”
“Are you and Ms. Richardson getting together?”
“How you know about that?” I smirked.
