“It’s not even that I’m mad you spoke on me behind my back. It hurt to hear it coming out of her mouth while we’re arguing. That’s a punch to the gut.”
“And you know she didn’t mean it. She just wanted you to hurt because she’s in her feelings.”
“No. She meant every fuckin’ word. That’s not hurt. She’s been wanting to say all that shit before Rayzor came into the picture. Just needed a reason.” I turned on my heels, heading for the kitchen. “Come on, let’s drink this tequila. I need it.”
After countless shots, celery sticks and Rotel dip, I was good, tipsy and in my fucking feelings.
“Be Careful” by Cardi B blasted loudly on the TV, speaking to my heart.
I was one bottle in, standing in the living room swaying from side to side, rapping lyrics bar for bar.
My fucking heartache. I couldn’t lie.
“He’s supposed to loved me. He lied to me. I thought we had something real.”
Suki slowly approached me, rubbing my back.
I shrugged her off. Not wanting pity. I needed to vent without judgment.
“What happened?”
Tears blurred my vision.
“He couldn’t even keep it real with me. Not after being so real,” I mocked.
She looked at me with worry.
“I’m sure whatever it is, he had good reason. Rayzor don’t give off the liar type.”
“Oh yeah? So, tell me why did he keep him being in the streets away from me when I asked him before?”
Her quick gaze to the floor sobered me up.
“Suki!” I yelled.
She walked over to the coffee table, poured another shot and downed it.
“That wasn’t my business to tell,” Suki confessed, shocking me.
“How the hell not when your niece and nephew be with this man? What if some shit happened?”
“It didn’t though,” she exclaimed. “Rayzor loves you and the kids too much to let something happen.”
“That’s not the point, Suki. Damn. We just got back cool five seconds ago and I’m gon’ let your ass go again.”
“Hoe, first off, I’m not going nowhere. I let you get in your feelings before and stay there because I knew what happened was fucked up, but we’re family. We talk out our problems.”
I felt defeated as I flopped on the couch next to her.
“Why couldn’t he have just told me?”
“Because that man loves you and wanted to protect you. Is it a crime to keep the two lives separate?”
“He lied to me though.”
“I wouldn’t call it a lie. He protected you,” she explained. “I know you’re pissed, but I respect what he did. You and I aren’t the same… I love me a good hood nigga. Ride me ‘round the trap, bae. I’ll hold your gun and everything.”
I tried to hide my laughter.
