He walked past me like I didn’t tell his ass no. His essence stood behind while he was long gone. I kissed my teeth and rolled my eyes before following behind him.
The kids were loading up their plates and heading to the living room.
My plans for the bedroom were thrown out the window. I watched as they interacted together. They all camped out on the sofa like a happy family. Rayzor made the kids smile. He always did. The love they had for him scared me.
Erin’s never really had a father figure, and to see her gravitate him made me leery. My relationship affects the entire family. And now that we’re broken up, I saw how badly this was going.
My heart was broken, theirs wasn’t, but I still had to see him when all I wanted to do was curse him the hell out and cry. I didn’t want to make him the villain; the blogs did that enough. That’s why I kept the breakup to myself.
“Come on.” He patted the empty space next to him.
“I’m fine,” I refused. “Y’all watch the movie.”
“Please, E,” Erin begged.
I sat at the edge, but Rayzor grabbed me, dragging me and placing me underneath his arm.
“That shit making my dick hard,” he whispered in my ear.
“Boy, bye.”
“I’m for real. The way you letting a nigga know, putting me in my place and holding it down. It’s fucking with my mental, but I love how you’re doing it. I love that shit. And I love you too.” He kissed the side of my head.
I thought if he stopped coming around they’d stop asking and we’d all move on with our lives. I was wrong. He had an impact on all of us.
Rayzor was still omnipresent. Talking to the kids, sent them groceries and did everything they wanted him too. He was respecting my wishes and not coming when they called, so I didn’t have to see him.
That didn’t stop him from sending flowers and gifts for me. I was spending my morning burning everything he sent. I didn’t want a damn thing from him. That’s how much he irked me. Kids aside, I was still hurt he lied.
Time slipped away from me when a chime came at my door. It was Suki. I’d been ignoring her since the cookout. She hurt me bad. Both her and Rhea. Everybody was hurting me, and it put me in a bubble.
“I know you see me. I love you, E.”
She held up a bottle of tequila and wine, along with food and a smile. She was on my shitlist, but I admit, I missed my girl.
I opened the door.
“I know you’re not fucking with me and if you were anybody else, I would’ve let you be, but I love you, girl.”
“What you want ,Suki?” I retorted with a roll of my neck and hands on my hips.
“Oop, bitch. You didn’t come to play.”
I waited.
There wasn’t anything for me to say. She walked on eggshells. Much like how Erin did the other night. I turned into something that made people scared once I was annoyed or pissed. That’s why I try to remain positive because that otherside of me was horrible. However, my feelings towards Suki and Rhea were warranted.
“Yeah, I popped a lil’ shit but not how you think. Rhea was in her feelings about you and Rayzor. All I said was I didn’t want you going headfirst in it because Rayzor’s a different kind of nigga, not like Phil.”
“I can handle myself. Y’all do know that, right?”
“But the blogs,” she pointed out.
“Fuck them blogs,” I slurred. “Why the hell do y’all treat me like I’m the scorned one that always needs babysitting? Yeah, my baby daddy is a real fuck nigga, but damn, it ain’t like I’m marrying Rayzor’s ass either.”
“I… I know.” She sulked. “I just want you to be careful, E. You’re my girl. Hell, I’m rooting for your happily ever after. My bad for even talking about the shit with Rhea behind your back. It wasn’t even like that on my end though.”
Suki’s always been the one I could count on to keep it real with me. Rhea too, but I was wrong. I knew they meant well. They thought I was fragile, but I’m strong too.
