He looks as stunned as I felt. “Really? You do?”
“Yeah.” A laugh bubbles up and bursts free. “Fuck yeah, I love you.”
I watch as moisture gathers in his eyes. He slaps a hand over his mouth as he gasps, trying to contain a sob.
“Babe, I love you so much.” I cup his cheeks and lean in so he fills my entire field of view. “I love all of you. All the nerdy, silly, sad, and broken parts. I love everything.”
He sniffles as tears escape down his cheeks. “But… why?”
“Why?” I laugh out loud. “Do I need a reason? I love you because… you’re you. And you were made for me. We were made for each other.”
He shakes his head, dropping his chin as his shoulders shake with a quiet sob. I pull him into a hug and he clings to me.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m not upset, I promise.”
I laugh again—or maybe I haven’t stopped laughing—and press a kiss to his temple. “You’re allowed to cry as much as you want, babe. I know you’re not upset.”
“But I don’t want to cry anymore. I’m so sick of crying.”
I rock him side to side, rubbing my hand up and down his back. “I know, babe. It’ll get better, I promise.”
He doesn’t cry for long this time and when he pulls away from me, he doesn’t look as miserable as he usually does after a cry session. Actually, he's kind of cute, with that like, half-joyful, half-sorrowful expression people get when they shed happy tears.
I wipe the wetness from his cheeks, then plant a fat kiss on his lips. He melts into me, his lips moving against mine.
“I love you,” I murmur against his mouth. I want to make sure he knows it without a single shred of doubt. I want him to know it in the deepest part of his soul. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
“I love you,” he repeats back at me and my heart fills with so much joy I’m floating on clouds. “You’re so good to me. Even when you didn’t know me, when you had no reason to be. When things were the hardest and the darkness was at its worst, you were the only one there for me. I was so lost, but you found me. I was dying, but you saved me.”
The more Hayden speaks, the more tears spring to my own eyes. He makes me sound like some hero, but I’m not. I’m just a guy who cares. I saw him hurting and I couldn’t not help. I knew I could do something, so I did. Isn’t that what everyone should do?
“I was lost too,” I say, swiping at my eyes before the tears can fall. “I didn’t know what I was doing with my life when I came here. I took a chance and hoped for the best. And then here you were. Beautiful and perfect.”
Hayden scrunches up his face at that last word.
“Okay,” I chuckle. “Maybe not perfect, but you’re perfect for me.”
He looks a little skeptical, but that’s okay, I plan on spending a lifetime proving it to him.
Hayden shows me around the library some more, where the novels are, where the biographies are. We stroll through the bookshelves hand in hand, whispering quietly to each other. I can see why he likes this place. It’s peaceful and serene.
We stop by an ice cream shop on the way home and Hayden orders a honey pistachio scoop in a cup while I get a butterscotch scoop in a cone. We sit on a bench in the park while we eat, watching the pedestrians walk past with their dogs and strollers and the picnickers lying out on the lush, green lawn.
Slowly, we make our way home, enjoying the warmth of the summer sun and the light breeze keeping the humidity at bay. I’ve never been happier in my life.
There’s a liveliness in Hayden’s eyes I’m not sure I’ve seen before. It’s like he’s soaking in the energy around him and letting it refuel his batteries. Like he’s here with me in the world rather than battling the demons inside his head.
We’re both pretty tired by the time we get home, but that good kind of tired when you know you’ve made the most of the day. We collapse onto the couch together, cuddling up close.
“What do you want for dinner?” Hayden asks.
I prop my chin on his chest and trace invisible patterns on his shoulder with my finger. “You’re always asking me that. What doyouwant for dinner?”
Hayden thinks for a moment. “I think I want ramen.”
“Ramen?” I ask. “Like going out for Japanese ramen?”
He shakes his head. “No, just the instant packaged stuff. I haven’t had that in ages.”
