My brain is still a little slow from the meltdown and it takes me a second to figure out what Sebastian is saying.
“Yeah? You sure?” Santino perks up like this is what he’s been hoping for.
“Yeah, totally. We’ll… figure it out.”
“Wait, what? No, I don’t… I can still… camera stuff.” I can’t quite put together complete sentences yet, but they seem to know what I mean.
Sebastian shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. We can shoot the scene in stages. Christian and I will work the cameras first. Then we’ll film our portion after and I’ll edit it all together so it looks like everything’s happening at the same time. It’ll be fine.”
Except I can hear the slight tension in his voice and the tightness in his expression. It probably would be fine, but Sebastian doesn’t like last-minute changes like this. I’m supposed to work the cameras while the other guys are in the scene. That’s the plan.
Even though I know he’s looking out for me and making sure I don’t push myself too hard, a small part of me still feels like Sebastian’s trying to get rid of me. Like he thinks the shoot will go more smoothly without me there to fuck things up.
I’m torn. Going back to the hotel room and cuddling with Santino sounds really nice right now. But I also don’t want to make extra work for Sebastian. I don’t want to make things harder for him, but I also don’t want to be left behind. I want to do the things all my friends are doing. I don’t want to miss out.
“No, I’m okay. I can do it,” I say, my voice sounding stronger than I feel.
Sebastian gives me an assessing look, then his gaze flicks to Santino.
Santino looks skeptical, but he shrugs. “If he says he’s okay…”
Sebastian hesitates for several long moments before he relents. “Fine, but you’ll let me know if you change your mind.”
I nod eagerly, hoping I haven’t just made a liar of myself.
“Alright, then let’s go.”
CHAPTER
TWENTY-EIGHT
SANTINO
I don’t know if this is a good idea. Hayden just had a very emotional breakdown and now he wants to keep working for several more hours? He really should be drinking a shit ton of water and lying down to get some rest.
But he was adamant about going to the club, and like, I kind of get it. He doesn’t want to miss anything. He doesn’t want to be left behind when everyone else is there. But still.
I stick close to his side as we head over and get set up. It’s a gay strip club and Sebastian’s made arrangements with management for the shoot. We’ve taken over the VIP mezzanine level overlooking the club’s main stage. A series of glass-fronted, glass-floored mini-balconies line the glass railing, jutting out over the space below. Across the back are semicircular booths with padded leather benches.
Okay, confession time. I’m actually really excited for this shoot. It’s going to be… different. From anything we’ve done for the documentary so far. And apparently, from anything The Camboy Network’s ever done before. Up to this point, thedocumentary has been very safe for work, but that’s about to change tonight.
If it’d been up to me, I would’ve dragged Hayden back to our room. But I would’ve been pretty sad to miss this.
“Everyone knows what they’re doing?” Sebastian checks in before we start.
The club sold special tickets to tonight’s show and the audience is already gathered on the floor below. There’s an electric hum in the air that dances across my skin. We’ve set up cameras around the VIP area and Hayden’s armed with one in his hands.
“Bouncers are stationed at the stairs to keep people out and there’s no one else here but us. If you need a break or want to stop altogether, just give Hayden a signal. This is the first time we’ve done anything like this, so we’re all kind of figuring it out as we go. Questions?”
I glance around this group of guys I’m quickly coming to see as my friends. They’re all so different from one another and yet, when they come together, it feels like a real family.
Gratitude wells up inside me. I was pretty lost and desperate when I left San Francisco all those weeks ago. And in such a short time, I’ve found a place where I feel like I belong, I’ve found friends who are entirely committed to one another, and I’ve found a wonderful guy I’ve totally fallen in love with.
Hayden’s got a furrow in his brow and his bottom lip is caught between his teeth. He looks serious and determined, like he’s about to launch himself into battle. I’m really proud of him for fighting when things have been difficult, for not giving up even when he’s wrung out.
“Alright, let’s get started.” Sebastian claps once and rubs his hands together.
The group disperses. Bellamy and Noel take up their spot in one of the mini-balconies, in full view of the audience below.Rhys and Angel take one end of the middle booth—not as prominent as the balcony, but still plenty visible. Sebastian and Christian take the other end of the booth.
