My deep inhale is involuntary, an indignant reaction to the utterly unfounded statement.
“That I’m pathetic. Worthless. Unlovable.” His voice cracks and he buries his face into the crook of my neck.
I hold him there, fingers carding through his hair as his shoulders shake from silent sobs.
“Why?” he wails quietly. “Why is this happening to me? Why won’t it stop?”
“I don’t know, babe. I don’t know.” I sniffle as tears fill my eyes. I wish there was something I could do, something that would take away his pain.
“I just want it to go away.”
“We’ll figure something out. We’ll get you help,” I promise him. Mom went to see a therapist before she started getting better. She was even on medication for a bit. I’m not an expert, but that feels like a good first step: find a professional who knows more than we do.
“Please. Please.” Hayden clings to me, fisting my shirt in his hands like he’s afraid I’ll disappear on him.
“I’m here. I’m not leaving. You’re not alone. I’ve got you.” Tears spill down my cheeks, but I don’t bother wiping them away. I want to cry them. I want to feel them wet my face. I can’t imagine how many tears Hayden’s shed in all of this. It’s the least I can do to cry a few with him.
We eventually make our way back inside. Hayden’s kind of comatose, eyes unfocused and a little unsteady on his feet. He goes where I direct him, shuffling along slowly as if he’s walking through water.
Instead of taking him back to his room, I lead him to the bathroom. We’ve both slept and cried and sweated in our street clothes and we could both use a shower before climbing back into bed.
I crank on the water and help him undress. He goes in first and I strip quickly to follow him. The shower isn’t really big enough for two grown men and we have to bear hug each other to keep from falling over.
Despite the seriousness and heaviness of the past several hours, my body can’t help but react to a naked Hayden in my arms. Hard muscles. Wet skin. My dick stirs and I try my best to keep my hips away from him.
I help him soap down, running my hands over his broad shoulders that narrow to a slim waist. A rounded ass I’d love to sink my teeth into. Thick thighs and muscled calves.
I turn him around. Golden blond hairs dust the tops of his toes and his calves. His quads flex under my touch. Then I’m face to face with his cock, completely soft but still impressively huge. I’m gentle as I make sure to get all the little crevices, lifting his balls to get between his legs. He sighs as I work, leaning against the wall.
Through the mist of the shower, I glance up at this man standing before me. His eyes are closed. His brows are furrowed. Every few seconds, his face muscles twitch like he’s flinching from some unseen attack.
Protectiveness like I’ve never felt before rises up in me.
As the baby of the family, I’m usually the one who gets coddled and protected, even when I don’t want to be. But now, with Hayden, I want to be the protector. I want to take care of him and keep him safe. I want to be the person he can turn to, no matter what, the person who will always be there for him, no matter how bad things get.
I soap up his stomach, then his chest. His eyes blink lazily open when I reach his shoulders and quickly wash each arm. He watches me through clumped lashes, lips hooded over his brilliant green eyes. Lip rosy and swollen from where he’s been chewing on them.
I brush his wet hair away from his face and he turns into my hand like a touch-starved puppy. Eyes drifting shut again, he doesn’t resist when I pull him into my arms. Bare chest against bare chest. Stomach against stomach. My semi is nestled against his hip, but I don’t care if he notices anymore. All that matters is that he knows I’m here for him. That he can always count on me.
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
HAYDEN
“Denny!”
Heavy footsteps echo through the apartment and I groan. I’ve never understood how Rhys can be such a loud walker when he’s literally half my size.
“Denny!”
What does he want? Why is he waking me up? Doesn’t he know how early it is?
“Denny?”
Next to me, someone moves, sitting bolt upright and dragging some of the covers with him. Cold air from the air conditioning rushes into the warm cocoon I’ve been nestled in. I whine and squirm, trying to burrow back into the warmth.
“Uh, this isn’t… we didn’t…”
