I suck in a lungful of air and my head spins. I can’t tell up from down anymore. I can’t tell left from right. Everything feels so mixed up, like I’m being tossed in a current and buried under several feet of water.
Noel knocks again. “You hear me?”
“Yeah, one sec,” I croak, pushing myself unsteadily to my feet. My hand shakes as I turn on the faucet and splash cold water on my face. When I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize the man staring back at me.
He looks like me. He has my hair, my eyes, my nose. But he doesn’t feel like me anymore. I feel like I’m someone else masquerading as Hayden.
Noel’s still there when I open the bathroom door. He gives me a strange look, like he’s wary of what I might’ve been doing in his bathroom. “You good?”
I force my face into a smile and hope it’s good enough to fool him. “Yeah, I’m good.”
I don’t know if he believes me.
When we get back to the dining table, Sebastian and Santino are already seated.
“So,smallchange in plans,” Sebastian says. “Hayden, how do you feel about performing with Santino?”
CHAPTER
EIGHT
SANTINO
Oh, shit. Would it be bad if I crawled under the table to hide?
I didn’t realize Sebastian was going to bring this up rightnow, in front ofeveryone. I thought he’d at least give it some thought first. I thought he’d pair me up with someone less high profile than Hayden.
What if Hayden doesn’t want to do a video with me? What if he’s like, ew, with Santino? Nah, bro! How fucking embarrassing would that be?
Or worse. He agrees to it but only because I’m sitting across the table from him and he feels bad rejecting me in front of everyone. The last thing I want is to force Hayden into something he doesn’t want to do.
I swear to god, I didn’t mention Hayden’s name when talking to Sebastian just now. When I saw the binders and all the work Sebastian had put into preparing for this documentary, it cemented things for me. This dude knows his shit. He’s a serious professional. If he can’t help me get my life on track, then no one can.
I just said I was open to doing camming stuff if there was an opportunity for it while I was here. Then Sebastian asked if I only wanted to do solo videos or if I was open to performing with someone else. I mean, my mind immediately went to Hayden, of course, but I didn’t say that out loud! I was just like, yeah, sure, I’m open to whatever!
Then Sebastian got a look in his eye and suddenly he’s at the table asking Hayden if he wants to have sex with me on camera.
Fuuck. Kill me now.
Hayden looks horrified. Like Sebastian just asked him to have sex with a subway rat or something. Then his gaze darts to me like he’s trying to figure out if this is a cruel practical joke.
“Hear me out,” Sebastian continues when the dead silence at the table goes on for a beat too long. “The storyline of the documentary is Bellamy and Noel are planning their wedding, right? And Santino’s come in from out of town to help. While he’s here, he spends a lot of time with Hayden, who’s also helping with the wedding planning. You’re both hot. Both available. Feelings develop. Etcetera.”
“I don’t get it. Where does the sex come in?” Noel asks. He’s been slouched in his chair all day like he’s bored out of his mind.
“Are you adding it to the documentary?” Bellamy asks, equally confused.
I’m confused too. I never suggested adding sex scenes to the documentary!
“No, not like that,” Sebastian waves his hand dismissively. “You guys have to think of this as a movie, okay? The main plot is Bellamy and Noel planning their wedding. The sub-plot is Santino and Hayden meeting and falling in love. You know, like those wedding romcoms where the bridesmaid and the groomsman fall in love. We’ll release the sex videos separately, but like, there’s a cross-promo opportunity here!”
Sebastian gives us a look like the explanation is so obvious, a five-year-old would’ve understood. Except, I’m not sure we do.
But then Hayden finally speaks up, still looking like he’s in shock. “Videos?” His voice cracks a bit when he emphasizes the “s”.
“Yeah, at least two, I think.” Sebastian’s gaze goes a little distant, like he’s not really with us anymore. He’s off in some other dimension, dreaming up ways to take over the world. “Maybe we can use the roommate scenario too…”
He pulls out his phone and his thumbs start tapping away. The rest of us exchange glances, not sure what to do. I mean, Hayden hasn’t even agreed to anything yet!
