I stay still, my arms heavy at my sides, unable to face what’s behind me, yet too drained to move forward.I hear his footsteps getting closer, then I feel his hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t pity me,” I tell him, not bothering to turn around.
“I’m not doing that.”
“Don’t you dare take the piss out of me either.”
Ryan sighs.“I would never do that.”
“Is it because you know about my shitty fucking past?”
I finally turn to face him, and his hand slips off my shoulder.
“Because I can tell when it’s not the right time, and this certainly isn’t.I know it’s not easy…”
“What?”
“To accept that Riley and Ian…”
“What do they have to do with this?”
“Well, she’s always been your whole family.And now you think you are alone.”
“Bullshit.”
“But you didn’t lose a sister; you gained a brother, actually three,” Ryan smiles at me.
“I don’t know what to do with you O’Connors,” I say, irritated.
“That may be true, but we know what to do with you.”
I give him a small smile.
“And maybe even…him.”
“Don’t you fucking dare!”I point my finger at his face.
“Okay, okay, we won’t talk about him now, if you’re not up to it.”
“We’ll never talk about him.”
“Look, I’m really trying here, yeah?You know how I feel about him.”
“You’re being dramatic.It’s nothing.”
“Grand, whatever you say.It’s nothing.I’ve said that myself before, though, and it turned out to be anything but nothing.”
“Now you’re really giving this thing too much credit, okay?I told you it’s nothing worth talking about.”
“I’ll pretend to believe you if it makes you feel better.But whenever you want to talk, you know where to find me.I promise I’ll keep all negative comments to myself.”
“This is bullshit.”
“True, but I’ll try.”
“We won’t talk about this because there will never be anything to talk about.It’s simply not going to happen.It’s not… It’s not…”
“Possible?I used to think it wasn’t possible for me, too, you know, and look at me now,” he says, spreading his arms wide.“Now I don’t know how it would be possible without it.”
