“It wasn’t me; it was Evan.”
“Now he’s going to take the piss out of it.”
“Then there’s something…”
I snort, exhausted.
Why did I stay for dinner?
“There’s nothing going on.I’m not interested in him.He’s undeniably attractive, and he’s even nice when he’s not being a jerk, but that’s all.”
“He’s such a total lash.”
“Okay, whatever, but you know how I feel about this.You know what I’m trying to avoid.I’m tired of usual men, tired of trying, tired…”
“Tired of being alone.”
I shake my head and take a few steps away from her.
“I’m done with guys like him.”
“What do you mean by ‘guys like him’?”
“Gorgeous and a complete jerk.”
“Gorgeous, huh?”
“We both know what Jamie is like.”I turn to her.“I’m tired, Chris.I don’t want to play this game anymore, you know what I mean?”
Chris gives me a small smile.
“Men like that only know how to cause damage, and I have no intention of suffering for it.”
“Maybe he’s not actually like that.Don’t let his appearance or his actions sway you.”
“Are you saying he’s hiding something he’s too scared to show?That if he meets the right person, he’ll finally realise he can give and receive love?Do you know how many times I’ve told myself that, only to end up crashing on your sofa instead of going home alone?”
“Martin…”
“I stopped believing those kinds of stories.”
“But you like him,” Chris insists.
I sigh.“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does.”
“It would be a disaster.Besides, it’s basically family.”
“So what?”
I look at Ryan and Evan again.“I only wish… I wish…”
Chris hugs me from behind, resting her head against my back.
“You’ll get it, Martin.You’ll get it, too.”
I want to believe her, but I’m starting to think my chance might never come.And even if it does, I might miss it.I’ll never notice if I keep thinking about someone who would only use me for a night, maybe two, or a few weeks at most.
