“All envy.”
Then Evan leans in to my ear.“Dignity, remember?”
I nod nervously as the teams come out, shifting in my seat.
My son looks at me with a teasing shake of his head.“Will you ever get used to it?”he asks, amusement in his eyes.
How could I?
Every time he steps onto the field, I feel something different.Watching him out there reminds me of all the training, hard work, and challenges he’s faced to get here.
Sometimes I wish I’d met him when he was younger.Maybe I could have helped, made him feel less alone, or shared some of his struggles.
But when I say things like this, Jamie just gives me that smile only he can pull off — cocky yet somehow hides a sensitive, colourful soul.
He tells me it’s okay, that it just wasn’t the right time, and that he might not even have recognised love back then.Maybe he’s right.If life brought us together now, this must be our time, and I thank him every day for seeing it and for not giving up.
He is, and always will be, my Captain.He’s not as tough as he tries to seem, and he’s far from perfect.He’s vulnerable, sweet, and sometimes scared, and he still has nightmares.But when that happens, instead of hiding, he wakes me and asks me to hold him.It warms my heart that he trusts me and shares everything, even the hard stuff.When he can’t sleep or feels restless, I let him rest his head on my chest and read to him.It helps him relax, clear his mind, and dream.
When I come home from work, exhausted after witnessing other people’s pain or failing to save someone, he’s always there waiting for me.He hugs me, tells me I did my best, and just lets me talk.He never gets bored or frightened by what I say or do.
The first thing he does when I walk through the door is ask if I’m okay.He does this every time — even when we talk on the phone during a break — because he cares about how I feel, what I think, and what I’m afraid of.When I try to hide something that’s too heavy to share, he notices, but he doesn’t push me.
We’re total opposites, yet somehow we fit and balance each other out.
With him, I feel like myself, and I feel him.We are a strange twist of fate, but we’re together, and that’s the only thing that matters.
When the game ends,I get up from my seat and head to the locker room.
“Where are you going?”Evan asks.
I proudly flash my pass again and head down the bleachers to celebrate with my Captain.
Nick hurries after me, determined.“Hey, Doc, you don’t think I’m going to let you go alone,” he declares, catching up.
“I don’t need your help.”
“Sure, but I like to take the piss.”
We walk into the facility together, and as we go down the corridor to the locker room, Nick swings the door open and waves me in.
I’m not afraid, O’Connor.Nothing scares me now, not even a dozen cocks flying around.
I enter the room, immediately stunned by the shouting, singing, and commotion.I feel like I am at the zoo, locked up in the monkey cage.I make my way through the players, who don’t waste a second paying attention to me.Then I spot my own, but before I can signal my presence to him, someone else notices me, and not to mention, naked.
“Doctor, at this point, you’re practically a regular in the locker room.Looking for something?Or maybe someone isn’t quite as gifted as he wants everyone to believe…”
“Fuck you, Ryan.Remember the vein,” I say, pointing to his neck.He immediately reaches up to touch it.
“Oh, Dr Martin, welcome.”The other brother chimed in with the rest of the group.
Did I really just think ‘gang’ while standing in a locker room with a rugby team?
“Did you escort him this time, too, Nick?”he asks his brother.
“I have my pass,” I say, holding it up.
“Things are getting interesting,” Ian says.
