“He always knew how it would turn out.”
“You did too, though.”
I give him a tight smile.
“You really like him, huh?”he asks.His eyes are the image of Chris’.They’re soft, but he’s trying not to let the kindness show, in case it hurts me more.
“I think it’s something worse,” I say quietly, the ache finally breaking through.I refuse to pretend, not to him, not to myself.If he learns anything from me, it should be that there’s no shame in loving honestly, even when it tears you to bits.
Evan sighs.“I figured.”
“Now you’re going to tell me I’m the biggest loser that ever lived.”
“You’re the top loser.”
“Oh, that’s great.Thanks.”
“And you’re the best man I’ve ever known or ever will know.And you’re my dad.I wouldn’t change you for anything in the world.”
After all the tears I’ll cry over what my son’s just told me, I reckon this was the last time he ever let me be seen out in public with him.
Chapter43
Jamie
My sister’s hand brushes mine, and I’m forced to look up.
“You’ve hardly touched your food.”
“I still feel worn out.”
“Maybe you’re not quite back to yourself yet.”Ian jumps in, trying to save my dignity, though at this stage it’s a lost cause.
“Of course you’re still a bit feverish,” my sister adds, backing him up.
I nod and chase my fork around the plate.
“Maybe you’d rather have a cup of tea,” she says.
“Thanks, Riley.Tea would be grand.”
“I’ll stick the kettle on.”Riley gets up and leaves me alone at the table with her husband.
“Are you sure you want to head back to your place?You can stay another night here with us.”
“I’ve stayed long enough.I really need to go home.”
Ian sighs.“I don’t think it’s a great idea for you to be on your own.”
“I’m fine.The fever’s gone.I’m just tired, that’s all.”
“I’m not talking about that, Jamie,” he says quietly.
I had this shitty idea: turn up at my sister’s place and beg for a hiding place, collapsing like some scared little kid afraid of his own shadow.
It used to be different.It was just the two of us, carrying a story nobody else knew.But now there’s Ian, and he knows every single fucking detail.He’s part of Riley’s family now, and I’m the one who feels like I don’t belong.
I shouldn’t be interfering in their lives, wrecking their peace, or dragging back old memories.Riley’s fine; she’s happy and doesn’t have to worry about me anymore, taking on my burden and shouldering all the weight so I don’t get crushed.
