“You’re a dickhead.You need your face shoved in the shit and left there a while before you start thinking straight.”
“And you, on the other hand, are better than me.Better than all of us.”
“I never said that.”
“You know, some things don’t look you in the eye.They just happen.”
“That’s fairly deep, now.”
“And there’s damn all you can do about it.”
“Where are you going with this, Nick?”
“If it finds you, it won’t let go until you give in.”
“What the fuck are we even talking about?”
“Like a dog with a bone, this thing — whatever it is — locks its jaw on you.A dog gnaws at his bone until it's in bits, and even when he finally buries it, he never truly forgets where it is.Same with this thing; once it finds you, it doesn’t let go.It just waits, hanging over you, until you finally do something about it.”
“Whiskey hurts you.”
“And something else hurts you.”
“Christ, how much shit can you talk in two minutes?”
“It hurts, yeah.You’re right to be afraid.It hits you hard and makes everything feel pointless.But when it brings you back, it drags you back to life.It can creep up on you bit by bit or smack you all at once.Only the result matters.”
“Given that I’ve no idea what you’re talking about… what exactly is that result?”
Nick laughs and knocks back the rest of his glass.“You’ll find out when you finally crawl out of whatever hole you’re hiding in.Just don’t leave it too long, or whoever’s digging might get sick of the job.”
“I swear I got lost.”
“You’ll find your way back, or maybe he’ll find it for you.He seems sharp enough, sharper than you anyway.”He sets a hand on my shoulder and looks over.
“What the fuck?I swear I’ll cut off his balls this time!I don’t give a fuck if it’s his birthday!”Nick bolts away, and I turn to see what’s going on, just in time to catch Evan messing around with Casey.
I shake my head, resigned.No one in this family is spared.I pour myself another drink, and now Nick’s voice joins the others nagging in my head, just as unwanted.
I head back to the others and lean against the living room doorframe.I’ve had too much to drink, and the room’s a bit sideways.I force my eyes open to focus on the people.Ryan is handing out glasses, lining us up for a toast.When he reaches my sister, she shakes her head and stares at the floor, cheeks burning.Ian, beside her, smiles, pulls her in, and kisses her temple.
“Holy shit!”Ryan says.“That can’t be what I think it is, right?”
Not tonight, for the love of God.I can’t pretend.
“Shut the fuck up, Ryan!This is not the time,” Ian says.
“The time for what?”Chris asks.
“Oh, Jesus.In this fucking family you can’t keep a secret for even one night,” Ian snaps.
“What secret?”Nick cuts in.“Speak the fuck up!”
“Christ, you really are a bunch of losers.None of you has realised Riley is pregnant?”
There he is: the worthy son of the Doctor.
“What?”Karen actually jumps off the sofa.
