“I don’t?—”
“Shh, don’t say anything.No need.”
Riley stays silent, letting the music and me lull her.My gaze barely lifts, as if it already knows exactly where to go.
Only one direction: the wrong one, the most dangerous one.
The one with no way out.
Halfway through the party,I realise the moment I’ve been dreading has arrived — it’s time for my speech.No one actually asked me to give one, but I know I can’t back out.I stand up and clink my glass with a knife.
The room freezes.Conversations cut off, forks hover mid-air.All eyes are on me.I’m used to being the centre of attention, but this is different.I can’t just flash a smile at the crowd and the press.This time I have to bare my soul.I have to be myself, and I’m not good at that.
I clear my throat and awkwardly lift my gaze around the room, not fixing on any particular point.
“I’ve never had a high opinion of the O’Connor brothers,” I begin, which makes the guests laugh.“Don’t be mad at me, O’Connors — you too, James and Karen.You have certainly done a great job.It’s just that some of you are bigger dicks than others.”
There’s more laughter, along with some cursing through clenched teeth, from my table.
“But then I saw Ian looking at my sister.I’d taken her to the Leinster Training Facility to show her what I was doing and how hard I was working.I wanted to make her proud, because I owe her everything I am today.”I look at Riley in Ian’s arms, tears streaming down her face.“And you know, he didn’t look at her like a conquest, a woman he wanted to have fun with.He looked at her as if she were the missing piece in his life.But Ian is not the sharpest tool in the box, and it took him a while to understand and accept that.Definitely not without some help.”Riley smiles through her tears.“He gave my sister what she dreamed of and deserved, because, Riley, nobody in this world deserves a full and happy life more than you.”
I look away from the bride and groom; otherwise, I won’t be able to continue.
“Ian gave Riley a family.And now there’s little Jamie and…” I shift my gaze tohim.His eyes are fixed on me, but not like everyone else’s.I know he’s searching for something he shouldn’t be seeking: something so small, dark, and inhospitable it offers nothing, not even for a moment.His head nods slightly, as if he understands I need a little encouragement — a gentle push to keep going.It feels like he knows I can’t do this alone.The warmth of his gaze and the confidence he instils in me give me the strength I need to express my feelings before they overwhelm me.
“You are my whole life, Riley.”
Hislips curve upwards now, but I can’t bear it.I can’t hold that smile.
I turn back to my sister.
“You have always been, and you always will be, the most important person in the world to me, along with little Jamie.You are my family, and I love you both immensely.And… Ian,” I say, turning to him, “I’m glad it’s you.”
I take a deep breath and raise my glass.“To you, your wonderful family, and your love.I have never seen two people love each other as much as you do.”
I set my glass down as the room erupts in applause and sink back into my seat, feeling Nick’s hand squeeze my shoulder affectionately.I don’t turn to him.
Instead, I let my gaze rise — just slightly.
I know exactly where to look.
His eyes are already there.He understands now.
He knows where to look, too.
Chapter4
Jamie
The party has come to an end.Most of the guests have already left; only a few diehards remain, clinging to one last drink.
I step out onto the patio to get some air.I drank a little too much, which I rarely do, but I feel entitled to make an exception, just this once.After all, I’m off tomorrow, and even though I know I’ll pay for it during training on Tuesday, I don’t really care.Even the Captain allows himself a break now and then.
I sit down and stretch my legs, swirling the last whiskey of the day as I savour the silence and solitude of the outdoors.Before me lies the open countryside, the street lamps of the avenue twinkling below and the stars burning bright in the clear, cloudless sky.
I finally loosen my tie and toss it onto the small table beside me.Despite the cool air, I shrug off my jacket and roll up my shirt sleeves to my elbows.I no longer have to maintain the façade; I can simply relax and enjoy these final moments of tranquillity before heading to my room.
I can still hear music from inside.I glance back at the lounge’s glass window and see Ian and Riley still dancing.The brothers are now slumped in their chairs at the table, deep in conversation, likely sharing thoughts about the day as one large, close-knit family.
