“You will anyway.”
“You were at his place, weren’t you?”
I let out a heavy sigh.“It’s not what it looks like.”
“I don’t know what it is, because you don’t tell me anything.”
“There isn’t much to say.I got sick, and he took care of me.”
“Is that all?”
I just look at her, exhausted.
“Did you let someone take care of you?”
Riley, what have the O’Connors done to you?You used to be more naïve, less pushy than this.
“You never let anyone but me.”
“I didn’t ask for it.It just happened.I hadn’t a choice.”
“There’s always a choice.You could’ve called me.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“You wanted to stay there.”
“This is bullshit.”
“You wanted him to take care of you.And that’s a good thing, Jamie.You don’t have to be ashamed.”
“I just wanted to know what it felt like.Just once.”
“Why just once?”
“Because it’s too much, Riley.I can’t handle something like that.It could blow up in my face and cause damage you couldn’t undo.”
“To you or to him?”
“To both of us.”
“It feels good to trust someone enough to reveal your true self, even the parts you wish had never existed.It’s a relief to discover that the person you entrusted with your vulnerability has been quietly waiting for that moment.They see you, understand you, and… love you.”
“I don’t want to be understood, Riley, and I don’t want anyone to love me.”
“Oh, Jamie…”
“Have you seen what love does to you?”
“I know what it did to me,” she says, smiling tenderly.
“Don’t get me wrong, but I can’t be like you.I can’t trust someone the way you trusted Ian.”
“Why?What’s different?”
I look into her eyes.“Because it was all my fault.”
“Jamie, no.”
